Anybody

who has ever

woken up in

a coffin,

buried under six feet

of God’s earth

can tell you:

it is no fun.

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***

(Stages of accidental burial)

stage one: Anger

“This is why I specifically requested cremation!”

stage two: Acceptance

“Well, I’m here, anyway …”

stage three: Bargaining

“What I would give for a sandwich right now.”

stage four: Depression

“That sandwich is not coming.”

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