I’m tired of ouija boards telling me what to do

We use ouija boards to

ask questions of the dead,

but sometimes I wonder —

what do the dead know really?

What I am saying is,

just because, maybe,

you once slipped on

wet tile in the bathroom,

broke your neck

& died,

              suddenly you have some good advice for me?

Well —


it’s to wear bath-slippers after showering, of course.

              Because that’s sensible

trefology spontaneously appears around the globe

Don’t dream it’s over, make that over a reality. Talk to a Trefology registrar to-day!

Things at the gym get heavy

A physical trainer at the gym

once took me aside

& began asking me

a lot of philosophical questions.

Like, How much could I dead lift?’

I don’t know, friend, I said

 “I guess, we’ll have to continue this conversation at a gym … in Heaven.”

& then in a twinkling

I was gone.

… Never to return. 


(Though I would continue paying monthly fees for another fourteen years.)