Tales told out of turn

Legend says,

a young Abraham Lincoln

once walked five miles

just to deliver a letter, & that he

carried it with him underneath his tall

stove pipe hat.

ii.

When he finally arrived,

a tired Lincoln removed his hat

and presented the letter.

The family was grateful,

but visibly dismayed to find the letter

covered with sweat, oil and coarse black hair,

which wreathed the letter

like a holiday ribbon.

iii.

Not wanting to insult Young Abraham,

the family nevertheless would

only accept the letter using a set of tongs.

iv.

The unflappable A. Lincoln merely laughed.

And when the letter was opened,

the family laughed, too,

because inside the envelope

was a shampoo sample


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(sign in west covina, CA)

If offered, would you choose the blue pill? The red pill? Or, the green jelly bean? For those who chose green jelly bean — Trefology

Anything is a hat

I believe that any-thing that can

be balanced on one’s head

qualifies as a hat.

ii.

Example:

See this set of keys?

Now they are my hat.

An armadillo?

Now a hat.

iii.

A cracker-crack?

A shnoolzer-sack?

Or, even a fizza-me-gak?

Hat. Hat. Hat.

iv.

How about this beret?

… Well, no, maybe not the beret. 

But to be fair,

I don’t think I can personally pull it off.

v.

Still how about this old piece of dried-up dog crap?

Now its my hat!

But you get it.