A man is never standing so tall as when he
when he is standing on stilts. TO ME: He who lives by
the sword may be occasionally asked to pick-up the sword’s mail.
TO ME: Real beauty comes from with-in, and it slowly eats
away at your insides, until it escapes & attacks your family.
TO ME: Fashion-wise, a pith helmet is easier to pull off if
you have a gap between your teeth. TO ME: Anyone who
has ever claimed that sound cannot exist in a vacuum
has tried to sleep past nine a.m. at a motel. TO ME:
All pop music written after the song “green-sleeves” sucks.
TO ME: We will probably never know how many dyslexic
hippies joined the LDS church by accident. TO ME: You can
always tell a professional jacks player by the way they
say their numbers. TO ME: Flying is safer than driving,
but try getting a flight out of LAX to McDonalds
Just like in the song,
my dad went to the ball-game
& never came back.
We were going to notify the police,
if he doesn’t care
how can we?
If we return to earth
to improve upon our previous self,
I really should be better
at juggling than I am.
And I can just barely use chopsticks.
In fact, based on the total number of
combined scew-ups in this life alone,
I have to wonder if my previous incarnations were even paying attention.
In the entirety of my life
I have never met anybody named Popeye.
Except for my brother,
Seeing life through rose colored glasses
means never being bothered
by noticing things like
red traffic signal changes
I thought the hole in my heart
could be mended
by the love of a good woman
but old doc says I should opted for the life saving surgery instead
Trefology celebrates Ash Wednesday
after a successful Cigar Tuesday
I always knew deep inside that I would have been perfect model for Modigliani