Tales told out of turn

Legend says,

a young Abraham Lincoln

once walked five miles

just to deliver a letter, & that he

carried it with him underneath his tall

stove pipe hat.


When he finally arrived,

a tired Lincoln removed his hat

and presented the letter.

The family was grateful,

but visibly dismayed to find the letter

covered with sweat, oil and coarse black hair,

which wreathed the letter

like a holiday ribbon.


Not wanting to insult Young Abraham,

the family nevertheless would

only accept the letter using a set of tongs.


The unflappable A. Lincoln merely laughed.

And when the letter was opened,

the family laughed, too,

because inside the envelope

was a shampoo sample



(sign in west covina, CA)

If offered, would you choose the blue pill? The red pill? Or, the green jelly bean? For those who chose green jelly bean — Trefology

Jumping the gun

The distraught theatre-goer stood up

in Ford’s theater & solemnly exclaimed,

“… And now he belongs to the ages.”

Then he glanced up to the balcony

to see President Lincoln still watching

                                                       the play.

Said the gentleman, quickly sitting back down,

“Oops, spoke too soon.”                    


Our Dumb American Cousin