As you are,

no doubt, aware-

***

I have always greatly

admired the writers

A.A. Milne and

E.E. Cummings.

***

And so, to honor them,

going forward, I, too,

will begin my name using

identical double-initials

***

Thank you.

***

Signed,

Respectfully,

A.A. E.E. George Raymond

.

---

 

“Dance!”

said the Outlaw,

and he fired his

gun near the feet

of the Stranger.

***

Blam! Blam! went the Outlaw’s gun.

***

Nearby, his gang of

ne’er do wells,

whooped and cheered

at the spectacle

***

“Dance!” said the Outlaw, again

***

And, so, … the Stranger danced.

***

And danced.

***

And danced.

***

And it was beautiful.

***

Unlike anything

the Outlaw gang

had ever —

or, would ever —

see again.

***

And the men began to weep, 

***

for they knew

this truth in

their hearts.

***

Then, wiping away their tears,

the gang looked around,

***

the Stranger had gone!

***

There was a moment

of confused silence,

then the Outlaw asked,

***

“Who was that Stranger?”

***

Came a voice from

the back of the room,

***

“The Lone Dancer!”

.

I owe a huge debt

to the IRS.

They pulled

my mother

from a

burning car!

 

Listen up, Jerks!

***

Don’t you hate it

when you have to

apologize for something

you said, even

though, deep down,

you really don’t

regret saying it?

***

Well, me, too.

***

And, hey —

***

I’m sorry I called you all jerks.

.

---

2.

---

3.

“Bless You”

would be

a good slogan

for the

pepper industry

What does

my ex-

girlfriend,

the x-ray

technician,

see in her

new

boyfriend,

anyway?

I once

saw a man

beaten

with a ruler

within

an inch of

his life.

Contrary

to popular

opinion,

are all my

opinions.

Proboscisless Steve,

was a wise man.

He used to say to me,

“George, if you put

your nose to the

grindstone —

you are going to

experience some

intense pain.

So— I wouldn’t

recommend it

Life can be unfair.

Take me, for example.

***

I lost my hair.

My father, he lost his hair.

***

And yet, to the day he died,

my grand-father had a thick

head of long fiery red hair.

***

Though he had it

on his buttocks.

.

---

2.

I’m an easy-going

guy.

When I go into a

shoe-store and

they ask me what

size do I want,

I say, what

size do you got?