Gates of heaven

Last night

my goldfish


driven insane

by syphilis


I really

should have been

better about

changing the water


As atonement,

I wanted

the fish to have a


Christian burial

but for all

my re-search

I could find

nothing on the subject


So, taking

a page from

the Bible,

I wrapped the

fish in it.


Bon voyage, old friend.



RIP Vida

by Mary Cellini

© 2021



I was at the park


enjoying my Sun-day


when a ladybug suddenly

landed on my hand.


So I said to it


“Ladybug, ladybug,

fly away home,

your house is on fire

and your children

are gone.”


Then I 

blew on the ladybug,

and off it flew.


But then

I began to wonder

if I hadn’t


worried it.


“I’m sure your kids are fine!” I yelled after it.

Meet up

In the days before

the internet

if you wanted to hook-up

with a demon

you had to use a

ouija dating board.


Questions to ask a ouija dating board

– Are there ghosts present?

– Evil or friendly?

– Single?

– Of which faith do you belong?

– Carrying chains?

– Doomed to one location?

– Willing to bi-locate?