If I jumped out of

a plane and my

parachute failed

to deploy, the

first thing I’d

do is look

for a haystack.

***

If no haystack

is forthcoming,

then I would look

for a pile of

old mattresses.

***

If no pile of

old mattresses

is forthcoming,

***

then I would

change tactics and

start looking

for somebody who

owes me money.

***

If no one who

owes me money

is forthcoming,

***

I suppose I

would just start

flapping my arms

.

.

---

Keep circulating the URL

The

Lady of the Lake

used to live

behind my house.

***

Every now and again,

she’d emerge from

the water and give me

something.

***

Like, Excalibur’s

old cracked boat oar.

***

Excalibur’s

single flip-flop.

***

Excalibur’s

Coke bottle

with mud in it. 

***

Excalibur’s

wallet & I.D.

***

Then one day she

gave me Excalibur’s

left femur bone

***

and that’s when

we had to involve

the authorities

.

---

Keep on circulating the URL

Alexamenos.

***

Alexamenos claps

between movements.

***

Alexamenos thanks

people who didn’t

help him.

***

Alexamenos tries to

whistle but fails.

***

Alexamenos holds

the door for

someone still in

the parking lot.

***

Alexamenos asks the

time when standing

near a sundial.

***

Alexamenos lives a

hop, skip, and a jump from a

puddle, ditch, and a cliff.

***

Alexamenos rides a

bicycle built for Lou.

***

Alexamenos requests

Dvorak on the

classical station and

then falls asleep

before it plays.

***

Alexamenos believes the

automatic bowling pin

resetter mocks him.

***

Alexamenos stays till the

very end.

***

Alexamenos.

---

.

Keep circulating the URL

I always print my

résumé on tortillas.

Then, depending on

how I believe the

interview is going,

I either hand it

to them,

or start eating it.

 

---

.

---

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Sign up for Trefology now!

Remember —

To-day is the last

day before the

first day of the

rest of your life

to-morrow!

---

Keep circulating the URL

I don’t know why

I’m always

forgetting the land

that time forgot.

***

It seems like

something I would

be interested in.

***

But — I forget. And

then a friend will

remind me that it’s

only about a mile from

my apartment building.

***

“Oh yeh,” I’ll say, as

we drive past the exit,

suddenly remembering

… the land.

.

---

Keep circulating the URL

My dad says his dad

took him to Disneyland

in the 1950s. But

when they got there,

they discovered that

Disneyland was still

just orange groves.

So they had to turn back.

***

Then, twenty years on,

my dad took me to

Disneyland. And again—

just orange groves.

So we turned back.

***

Now, though,

all these years later,

I’m beginning to think

my family may not

have the correct address

.

---

Keep circulating the URL

They say,

cough —

and the

world coughs

with you

***

And to-day that cough

has ferried us to

this gentle turn.

***

Eight hundred posts.

I never would have

believed it.

Yet here we are. And

here we go again.

***

Onward—to the 900th!

(or thereabouts)

.

---

2.

The lost tapes part II

Here We Go Again

Written & performed

by George J. Raymond

copyright© 2025

Why did I answer when

you called my name?

Thought I was tired

of playing this game

***

Opened my heart

and in you came, and

here we go again.

***

What is the meaning

to this ride I’m on?

I just go up and down

and round and round

***

To-day it’s you and

me and all i know

is here we go again

***

You pick me up with just your smile

(Oh yeh, you do)

You make wonder if you’re real

Are you? Are you?

***

So to-day I guess

it’s me and you,

standing side by side

and wondering who

loves the other one more

than the other one knew

***

Here we go

Here we go

Here we go again

*

To listen to Part one click here

---

3.

And From All of Me,

to Some of You,

I Wish a Merry Christmas,

a Cheerful Holiday,

and a Happy New Y’ar!

---

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

---

Keep circulating the URL

When I die, please

remember to place

a gold coin in my

mouth so that I may

pay the Ferryman.

***

And while you’re there.

***

Place another coin

in my ear— so I

can do a magic trick

for the Ferryman.

***

Next, please fill an

envelope with bread

crumbs, then tuck it

in my inside jacket

pocket.

On the envelope write:

“For ducks”

***

And lastly, place

a small toy globe

in my lower jacket

pocket, so when I

reach the land of the

dead

I can show everybody

where I used to live.

.

---

---

Keep circulating the URL

X marks the spot

where I buried

my xylophone

***

Y marks the spot

where I questioned

my reason for being

***

Z marks the spot

where I took a nap.

***

And XYZ marks the spot

where my friend told me

my zipper was down.

---

Keep circulating the URL