He who
lives
for the body
is dead,
though he
hath
a better weekend
than ye
Bonus: Free Trefology Motivational Poster
Author: Geo. Raymond
Kind of a jerk, actually.
Tropical
My parents used to
hang my artwork
inside
the refrigerator,
but the joke was
on them
because my art was
mostly of bananas
“Laughing Tereso”
Laurel & hardy death car
My box of Fruit Loops
says,
‘No gluten’,
but
if I was really worried
about what I ate
I would look for the box
that says,
‘No Fruit Loops’.
Things I could see myself doing
1. Astral projecting
2. Mirror salesman
Jokes for kids
Q.
Do you know
why fish
never sleep?
A.
Because
they are just so
damned
busy!
Blood pancakes
I asked myself,
should
I really have another
serving of pancakes?
***
After-all,
I had already finished
three helpings,
and
though I was dining
at an
eat-all-you-can
pancake restaurant,
I still felt I might be
over-doing it.
***
So, I asked God
for a sign.
Any sign at all.
Should I have one more
serving
of pancakes?
***
Suddenly, I heard
the crackle of the diner’s
over-head television set
being turned on, and
then an urgent news report:
Mining disaster in Asia!
Many feared dead.
Hundreds more missing.
***
So, yeh, I had another
serving of pancakes.
But I did not feel good about it
Jimmerson’s triangle
I could lie &
tell you that Trefology
is based
on NEWLY-DISCOVERED
Atlantean texts,
though I doubt you’d
believe me.
***
But — then, again,
maybe you would …
***
Because,
do you know what?
***
They are.
Gates of heaven
Last night
my goldfish
died,
driven insane
by syphilis
***
I guess I really
should have been
better about
changing the water
***
As atonement,
I wanted
the fish to have a
proper
Christian burial,
but, for all
my re-search,
I could find
nothing
on the subject
***
So, taking
a page from
the Bible,
I wrapped the
fish in it.
***
Bon voyage, old friend.
RIP Vida
by Mary Cellini
© 2021
Prodigy
I picked up my
first guitar
at the age of five,
and
I immediately
threw it off the
apartment balcony.
***
Then, as my dad
was running
down-stairs
to try and save it,
I picked up my
second guitar.
That’s where the voices live
Some-days
the voices
in my head
tell me to do bad things,
and
on other days
the voices
in my head
tell me to do good things.
***
But mostly,
the voices
in my head
remind me
that what-ever
I do,
to please take good care
of my head.
Tea for trefology
I was once
followed by
a moon-shadow,
and while
I eventually
got away,
it was not before
it
took my mouth.
Once I ate a
Wendy’s old fashioned
hamburger
and then
I drank a
Dad’s old fashioned
root beer,
but
I didn’t suddenly
start feeling
old fashioned.
***
Though I did
feel bloated.
***
But I don’t know the
old fashioned word
for that
