MY favorite
comfort food
is a
cheeseburger
on a
gigantic
sesame seed bun
the size
of a pillow.
Author: Geo. Raymond
Kind of a jerk, actually.
A simpler age
I suspect
salad dressing
harkens back to
a more
modest time in
our society
.
2.
3.
“TA-DA!”
***
I am often asked,
what would happen if I were to die before finishing my life’s work at trefology?
***
Well, …
firstly,
dear Readers,
do not fear
my passing.
***
When my day
comes I will
embrace the
unknown
with open arms.
***
Why?
Because I have a back-up plan!
***
Now, I have not, yet, fully
fleshed out this plan,
but, here is my pledge to you:
***
I will, one day,
return to earth,
to complete
my work here
at trefology!
***
How? Again, I don’t, yet, know.
***
But that is why,
when I die,
I have requested
to be buried
in a straight jacket,
blind-folded,
wrapped in chains,
and with
the lid of the coffin
nailed air-tight.
***
That way, on the chance that I am successful,
***
it will be a double good trick.
Jokes for kids
q.
DO you know
what’s worse
than finding a
worm in
your apple?
a.
Finding that
same worm,
again, later,
in the arms of
your
betrothed!
American folk-heroes
DID you know
that
Davy Crockett,
once owned
a pet cricket
named,
Davy Crickett?
***
Parenthetically, it’s OK if you didn’t know. Not many people do.
***
Maybe, if
the cricket
had stayed on
to fight
at the Alamo,
we would
know more
about him.
***
But as it is,
Davy Crickett,
turned his tail
and
skedaddled.
2.
Basin street blues
I keep a
roach motel
under my
kitchen sink,
though,
I don’t
know why.
***
It hasn’t
caught
any-thing
in years.
***
At least,
not
since they
moved the
interstate.
Inside trefology
Every-thing
I ever learned
I learned from a
Every-thing
I Ever Learned
I Learned
in Kindergarten
poster.
2.
“Anti-gravity zoo” by Mary Cellini
© all rights reserved 2022
3.
TREFOLOGY AROUND THE TOWN
***
Good news, readers!
***
My ‘Jokes for Kids’
feature
is a hit with the kids!
***
Just this past
weekend, I was
dining with
my betrothed at a
cafe in
East Hollywood,
when a
six year old boy
came up to my
table and said,
“I enjoy your work”
***
He asked
if I would sign his
copy of
Hi-lights for Children magazine,
and then,
suddenly,
it hits me —
he was confusing me
for another writer!
***
But I didn’t want
to disappoint.
So, I nodded politely,
and signed,
“Garry Cleveland Myers”
over the
Goofus & Gallant cartoon.
***
Then I finished my meal.
Always a bridesmaid
I was once
considered a
‘person of interest’
for a crime,
but then the police
interviewed a
guy who could
play guitar with
his feet,
and suddenly,
all the interest
went to him.
What have you done?
I think I have
always loved
making things.
***
As a young boy,
my parents could
leave me alone
all day long, with
nothing but
a stack of
construction paper,
glue,
and some scissors,
and that was all I
needed
to make a big mess
.
.
A tale of monomania
part one
The power of books, or, What to do to avoid a spanking
***
Growing up,
I was always
getting into some
sort of mischief.
***
I was always
getting caught, too,
and, then,
soundly spanked.
***
“Just wait til your father comes home!” My mother would say to me.
***
And I wondered,
What could I do to avoid any further spankings?
***
And, then,
the answer came to me,
and it came to me,
in the form of a book.
***
And, so, knowing a
spanking was imminent,
I went to the study,
and found the thickest
book on the shelf, and
then
concealed that book
in the
back-side of my pants.
***
Then, later,
as fore-told, my father
came home from work,
heard what I had done,
stormed into my room,
dropped me over his knee,
pulled down my pants,
***
and, then
got lost in a good book.
***
“Son, this is going to
hurt me more than
it’s going to hurt you …
***
… They call me, Ishmael …”
.
.
Helper-rhymes
IF you some-
times have trouble
remembering
important things,
try making a
rhyme out of it!
***
For example:
I always had
trouble
remembering
which
socks to wear.
***
So, I say,
***
Find a sock on the street,
don’t put it on your feet.
Find a sock in your drawer,
put it on for sure.
***
Now you try it at home.
t r e f o l o g y 