I went to a
garage sale
run by a man who
had no bones
***
He just hung there
on a clothes line,
held with clips,
***
flapping about in the wind,
***
making deals.
***
And I was
sorting thru
a box of
things for sale
***
when I
came upon an
entire
human skeleton.
***
“Hey”, I said to him,
“you don’t want this anymore?”
I once
ran away
to join
the
circus
***
only to have
***
the circus
run away
to join
my family
***
So, then
I tried
to join
my
family, too
***
but mom
had
all ready
given my
room
to the
bearded lady.
.
2.
Photo courtesy of
cfMC FEROX, of S.F. Ca.
author of
The Font In The Forever Channel
IF
the guy who
invented
the
Heimlich Maneuver
***
was ever
at a cafe,
***
and somebody
began
choking,
***
I could easily
see him
getting
a little cocky
about it.
***
“Looks like it’s time for the ‘me’ maneuver.”
.
2.
If a tree
falls in
the forest
and no one
is there,
that
is still
one
clumsy tree.
If you
should ever
catch
on fire,
***
they say
the thing
to do
is
“Stop, Drop and Roll”
***
but,
while they
say,
“Roll”
***
they do
not say,
in which direction.
***
So, I
would
add,
” … away from George”
.
IF there is
one thing
I don’t like,
it’s
having to
limit my
grievances to
one thing
When I die
I want to
have a
post-mortem photo
taken of me
for posterity,
***
just as they did
in the
Victorian Age
***
My family gathered around me …
everybody in great sorrow
***
Except, I want
the photo to be taken
at one of those
old-timey photo studios
like, they
have at the wharf,
***
That way,
if anybody
should ever
inquire
as to what had
become of me
***
my family
can tell them,
that I died
***
back in the days of the Old West.
.
2.
all hail.
I think
my cousin, Bob,
has ADHD&D,
because Bob is
very easily
distracted by
dungeons
and dragons.
I shouldn’t have
lied during the
job interview.
***
I know that now.
***
Like when
I told them
I was an
arm-wrestling
champion
***
and I lived under the sea
***
and I knew Excel
***
and I have twelve fingers,
… on each hand
***
But mostly,
I regret the Excel part
***
because that was
the one thing
they tested me on.
2.
.
“She Hasn’t Got a Mean Bone”
written and performed
by George J. Raymond
copyright © 2023
3.
She goes to church on Sunday
She goes to work on Monday
She does the very best she can
***
She loves her mother
She loves her father
Takes good care of her man
***
She hasn’t got a mean bone
***
If she ever got in trouble
it would surely pop her bubble
***
And it’s gonna break my heart
to watch her fall apart
***
Lies — she don’t tell ’em
Alibis — she don’t use ’em
She’s always true to herself
***
She sees the good in you
Ignores the bad in you
She gives everybody an even chance
***
She hasn’t got a mean bone.
4.
Happy 81st Birthday, Dad!
t r e f o l o g y 