IN
the furthering of my researches
into matter, energy,
space & time,
I ordered something off the internet
called a ‘God Helmet’.
Upon receiving it, I was disappointed
to find that instead of a God Helmet,
with an ‘o’,
I had purchased a cheap knock-off,
called a ‘Gad’ Helmet,
with an ‘a’.
But, in the spirit of exploration,
I put it on anyway —
plugged it in, switched it on,
and damn it all, friends,
if I did not see Gad.
ii. AND GAD SAYS, ‘HEY’
Number one:
Birthday cards
that say ‘Happy Birthday’
on the inside of the card.
Because, most of the time,
that was all I had to say anyway,
but now
Peanuts & the gang have
stolen my thunder
Per the Trefological calendar:
the New Year does not officially begin until February the 1st.
December 31st is therefore considered a Pre-New Year event.
… So from all of me
to parts of you,
I wish you a happy and prosperous 31 day Pre-New Year.
And remember!
Though mortal coil
can go down stairs
like the Slinky do …
Be careful!
As you may still be
connected to it
Our founder contemplates the future as a Christmas tree approaches from behind.
By the third Noel
most of the kinks
had been worked out
Our founder waited for Zander, klaus — but Zander, klaus did not show
My favorite
holiday memory
is of my Christmas pony.
Which I named,
Peanut Jr.,
after my father,
Peanut Sr.
If I could have any ten historical figures
over for dinner,
I would choose,
1.) Pot luck.
2.) My famous potato salad, and
3.) What-ever the historical figures bring
Because I can’t cook.
And I, sure as hell, am
not going to embarass myself
in front of the Three Stooges
** Don’t forget to leave out a letter of apology to Zander, Klaus! **
My Blue Blue Girl
written & performed by George J. Raymond
copyright © 2018 all rights reserved
