The time before sandwiches

DID you know

that the

people who lived

during the

Middle Ages,

did not

eat sandwiches?

***

That’s a fact.

***

It turns out,

sandwiches

had not been

invented yet.

***

This, despite,

having

ALL

the ingredients

for one.

***

They just ate them all separate.

***

For, you see, back then …

***

First you bit a chunk of bread,

then you bit a chunk of meat,

then you bit a chunk of cheese,

and, then, I assume,

you licked a spoonful of mayonnaise.

***

Then one day,

the Earl of Sandwich

happened by,

took notice of this,

and said,

“I think I can help these idiots”

***

And later,

the Earl opened

a small deli.

***

… And I hear he was quite successful.

***

Finis


2.

Happy 79th Birthday, Mom!

68740383290__4BA30F45-D0F8-4B06-8C97-F96B0F9847E4_Fotor

 

The question

A friend of

mine was

crossing the

street in

Los Angeles

when he

was struck

by a car

and killed.

***

They tell me,

at the time,

he had been

wearing a

“Who farted?” t-shirt.

***

And that, for me, somehow made it worse

***

Because if

movies

have taught

me anything,

***

the clothes you die in, are the clothes you will wear for all eternity.

***

So,  now,

not only

will he

never know

who farted

***

but he’ll be forever asking …

Trefology proudly presents its 700th post (big deal)

READ

THEM

ALL


2.

0

Dad.


3.

“Inside-out”

Written & performed by

George J. Raymond (related)

© 2022 all rights reserved



4.

I took myself too

far one day,

and filled up an

empty chamber.

Spun the wheel,

closed my eyes,

almost pulled the

trigger

***

Oh, what a night.

Oh, what a fight.

I went too far.

She took the car.

***

I was alone with

myself, seriously

doubting my

emotional health

***

Help! I cried out

That girl turned me

inside out.

***

Took advantage

of my collapse,

put the pistol in

the freezer

Grabbed some

ice,

a bottle of gin

found me a day

old pizza

***

Oh, what a night …

***

I was alone with myself …

***

Inside out, inside out

Inside out, inside out

Never thought

she’d go and leave me

inside out, inside out.

***

It must have

been the booze, or

something else

I started feeling

better,

grabbed my bike

and hit the road

***

I’ll find her

sooner or later.

***

Rainy night,

I was pretty tight,

ran the light,

never saw the car.

***

I was alone with myself …

A simpler age

I suspect

salad dressing

harkens back to

a more

modest time in

our society

.


2.

bb7a8478-0dd2-4826-9c2b-6eccb60c60c2-1


3.

“TA-DA!”

***

I am often asked,

what would happen if I were to die before finishing my life’s work at trefology?

***

Well, …

firstly,

dear Readers,

do not fear

my passing.

***

When my day

comes I will

embrace the

unknown

with open arms.

***

Why?

Because I have a back-up plan!

***

Now, I have not, yet, fully

fleshed out this plan,

but, here is my pledge to you:

***

I will, one day,

return to earth,

to complete

my work here

at trefology!

***
How? Again, I don’t, yet, know.

***

But that is why,

when I die,

I have requested

to be buried

in a straight jacket,

blind-folded,

wrapped in chains,

and with

the lid of the coffin

nailed air-tight.

***

That way, on the chance that I am successful,

***

it will be a double good trick.