During the

American revolution,

when a fair lady prepared

you a bowl of macaroni,

— be careful —

lest ye eat a mouthful

of feathers

You can always

tell a professional

jacks player by the

way they say their

numbers.

It’s a long story,

but in a nutshell,

I found a peanut.

---

2.

.

---

PROMOTED AD

Learn Life. Learn Trefology.

Few will join. Fewer will stick with it.

.

You can never

really know

an old woman

until you live in

her shoe

---

I got tired of always

saying,

“I’ll be right back,” 

each time I excuse myself to

use the restroom,

so now I just announce to

the table that

I probably won’t be back

Candidly —

you should have

learned your

A,B,C,’s

a long time ago.

***

So, me singing

them with you?

Is off the table.

.

---

2.

Keep circulating the URL

 

 

 

I rang up a radio

talk show and said,

“Long time listener,

first time caller.

I have a question —

what is this thing

that I’m speaking into?”

.

---

Keep circulating the URL

At first,

Horace Greeley said,

“Go North, young man!”

***

And thousands

heeded the call

and set out toward

the North Pole.

***

Most died.

***

Some were saved by Santa.

***

A few of those stayed

on to make toys

***

One or two made

it back home

***

But ALL

hated Horace Greeley.

 

I’ve seen fire

& I’ve seen rain

but never

at the same soirée

.

---

2.

special thanks to c.p. from sydney, australia for the photo

---

Many wags in

this town are

declaring

my tin-man hat

to be

just a regular

old funnel.

But a funnel is

what my

grandfather wore.

This is a tin-man hat.