Aufs & oafs

I have always

suspected that

my sister was

a changeling,


Each time our

mother would

go out

to collect wood,


my infant sister

would suddenly,

stand up,

dance about,

play the bag pipes,

drink boiled oil,

and, place empty

walnut shells

around the fire.


When our mother

would return,

she’d ask,

“Who drank the boiled oil?”


Who do you think?!

Come on, mom, wise up!

I want it to rain on christmas day



“I want It To Rain on Christmas Day”

written & performed

by George J. Raymond

Copyright © 2020


Recorded by my father on an iphone with guitar and drum machine during Christmas of 2020


I want it to rain this Christmas Day

I want the rain to

wash my tears away


To all the people I love

who are so far away

I want it to rain on Christmas Day


To all the people taken away

from their homes

So afraid of dying alone


To all those people

 I would like to say

I want it to rain on Christmas Day


Oh, if I could only find

Some peace of mind

This Christmastime.

The time before sandwiches

DID you know

that the

people who lived

during the

Middle Ages,

did not

eat sandwiches?


That’s a fact.


It turns out,


had not been

invented yet.


This, despite,



the ingredients

for one.


They just ate them all separate.


For, you see, back then …


First you bit a chunk of bread,

then you bit a chunk of meat,

then you bit a chunk of cheese,

and, then, I assume,

you licked a spoonful of mayonnaise.


Then one day,

the Earl of Sandwich

happened by,

took notice of this,

and said,

“I think I can help these idiots”


And later,

the Earl opened

a small deli.


… And I hear he was quite successful.




Happy 79th Birthday, Mom!



The question

A friend of

mine was

crossing the

street in

Los Angeles

when he

was struck

by a car

and killed.


They tell me,

at the time,

he had been

wearing a

“Who farted?” t-shirt.


And that, for me, somehow made it worse


Because if


have taught

me anything,


the clothes you die in, are the clothes you will wear for all eternity.


So,  now,

not only

will he

never know

who farted


but he’ll be forever asking …

Trefology proudly presents its 700th post (big deal)









Written & performed by

George J. Raymond (related)

© 2022 all rights reserved


I took myself too

far one day,

and filled up an

empty chamber.

Spun the wheel,

closed my eyes,

almost pulled the



Oh, what a night.

Oh, what a fight.

I went too far.

She took the car.


I was alone with

myself, seriously

doubting my

emotional health


Help! I cried out

That girl turned me

inside out.


Took advantage

of my collapse,

put the pistol in

the freezer

Grabbed some


a bottle of gin

found me a day

old pizza


Oh, what a night …


I was alone with myself …


Inside out, inside out

Inside out, inside out

Never thought

she’d go and leave me

inside out, inside out.


It must have

been the booze, or

something else

I started feeling


grabbed my bike

and hit the road


I’ll find her

sooner or later.


Rainy night,

I was pretty tight,

ran the light,

never saw the car.


I was alone with myself …