DID you know
that
Davy Crockett,
once owned
a pet cricket
named,
Davy Crickett?
***
Parenthetically, it’s OK if you didn’t know. Not many people do.
***
Maybe, if
the cricket
had stayed on
to fight
at the Alamo,
we would
know more
about him.
***
But as it is,
Davy Crickett,
turned his tail
and
skedaddled.
2.
I keep a
roach motel
under my
kitchen sink,
though,
I don’t
know why.
***
It hasn’t
caught
any-thing
in years.
***
At least,
not
since they
moved the
interstate.
Every-thing
I ever learned
I learned from a
Every-thing
I Ever Learned
I Learned
in Kindergarten
poster.
2.
“Anti-gravity zoo” by Mary Cellini
© all rights reserved 2022
3.
***
Good news, readers!
***
My ‘Jokes for Kids’
feature
is a hit with the kids!
***
Just this past
weekend, I was
dining with
my betrothed at a
cafe in
East Hollywood,
when a
six year old boy
came up to my
table and said,
“I enjoy your work”
***
He asked
if I would sign his
copy of
Hi-lights for Children magazine,
and then,
suddenly,
it hits me —
he was confusing me
for another writer!
***
But I didn’t want
to disappoint.
So, I nodded politely,
and signed,
“Garry Cleveland Myers”
over the
Goofus & Gallant cartoon.
***
Then I finished my meal.
I was once
considered a
‘person of interest’
for a crime,
but then the police
interviewed a
guy who could
play guitar with
his feet,
and suddenly,
all the interest
went to him.
I think I have
always loved
making things.
***
As a young boy,
my parents could
leave me alone
all day long, with
nothing but
a stack of
construction paper,
glue,
and some scissors,
and that was all I
needed
to make a big mess
.
.
part one
The power of books, or, What to do to avoid a spanking
***
Growing up,
I was always
getting into some
sort of mischief.
***
I was always
getting caught, too,
and, then,
soundly spanked.
***
“Just wait til your father comes home!” My mother would say to me.
***
And I wondered,
What could I do to avoid any further spankings?
***
And, then,
the answer came to me,
and it came to me,
in the form of a book.
***
And, so, knowing a
spanking was imminent,
I went to the study,
and found the thickest
book on the shelf, and
then
concealed that book
in the
back-side of my pants.
***
Then, later,
as fore-told, my father
came home from work,
heard what I had done,
stormed into my room,
dropped me over his knee,
pulled down my pants,
***
and, then
got lost in a good book.
***
“Son, this is going to
hurt me more than
it’s going to hurt you …
***
… They call me, Ishmael …”
.
.
IF you some-
times have trouble
remembering
important things,
try making a
rhyme out of it!
***
For example:
I always had
trouble
remembering
which
socks to wear.
***
So, I say,
***
Find a sock on the street,
don’t put it on your feet.
Find a sock in your drawer,
put it on for sure.
***
Now you try it at home.
All of
my
friend
-ships
with ducks
event
-ually
go south.
PROMOTED AD
How to Join the International Society of Trefologists
To become a member of the ISOT (International Society of Trefologists) one must first answer a series of questions.
***
Shall we commence?
***
BEGINNING of QUESTION ONE & TWO
***
1.) Have you ever had an un-kind thought about Trefology’s founder George Raymond?
a. Yes.
b. Yes, but only on Opposite Day
2.) When your lunch bag is missing from the office refrigerator do you automatically assume Trefology’s founder, George Raymond has eaten it?
a. Assume? I know he did!
b. (see a.)
***
END of QUESTION ONE & TWO
***
As George Raymond said over two hundred years ago, "Help me! I've gone back in time!"
***
The Few. The Fewer. The ISOT.
I come from
such a strict
Shakespearean
family
that in our
home movies
my mother
had to be
played by an
adolescent
boy in drag.
I bet it was
a pirate
who
invented the
diving board.
2.
3.
Every-child
on earth is
born with,
at least, a
notion of how to
dance the
Charleston.
t r e f o l o g y 