I once strayed
from the
path of success
only to be
attacked by
a werewolf.
“To die,
to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to
meet
Freddy Krueger.”
— Wm. Shakespeare
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Author: Geo. Raymond
Kind of a jerk, actually.
The question
A friend of
mine was
crossing the
street in
Los Angeles
when he
was struck
by a car
and killed.
***
They tell me,
at the time,
he had been
wearing a
“Who farted?” t-shirt.
***
And that, for me, somehow made it worse
***
Because if
movies
have taught
me anything,
***
the clothes you die in, are the clothes you will wear for all eternity.
***
So, now,
not only
will he
never know
who farted
***
but he’ll be forever asking …
Trefology proudly presents its 700th post (big deal)
READ
THEM
ALL
2.
Dad.
3.
“Inside-out”
Written & performed by
George J. Raymond (related)
© 2022 all rights reserved
4.
I took myself too
far one day,
and filled up an
empty chamber.
Spun the wheel,
closed my eyes,
almost pulled the
trigger
***
Oh, what a night.
Oh, what a fight.
I went too far.
She took the car.
***
I was alone with
myself, seriously
doubting my
emotional health
***
Help! I cried out
That girl turned me
inside out.
***
Took advantage
of my collapse,
put the pistol in
the freezer
Grabbed some
ice,
a bottle of gin
found me a day
old pizza
***
Oh, what a night …
***
I was alone with myself …
***
Inside out, inside out
Inside out, inside out
Never thought
she’d go and leave me
inside out, inside out.
***
It must have
been the booze, or
something else
I started feeling
better,
grabbed my bike
and hit the road
***
I’ll find her
sooner or later.
***
Rainy night,
I was pretty tight,
ran the light,
never saw the car.
***
I was alone with myself …
It’s on me
When I’m
staying at
a hotel
and ordering a
drink from
room service,
***
I always
order a drink
for
every other
room, too,
***
because, if
there is one
thing I hate
***
it’s
drinking alone.
Sleepy-time
MY favorite
comfort food
is a
cheeseburger
on a
gigantic
sesame seed bun
the size
of a pillow.
A simpler age
I suspect
salad dressing
harkens back to
a more
modest time in
our society
.
2.
3.
“TA-DA!”
***
I am often asked,
what would happen if I were to die before finishing my life’s work at trefology?
***
Well, …
firstly,
dear Readers,
do not fear
my passing.
***
When my day
comes I will
embrace the
unknown
with open arms.
***
Why?
Because I have a back-up plan!
***
Now, I have not, yet, fully
fleshed out this plan,
but, here is my pledge to you:
***
I will, one day,
return to earth,
to complete my
work at trefology
***
How? Again, I don’t, yet, know.
***
But that is why,
when I die,
I have requested
to be buried
in …
***
a straight jacket,
blind-folded,
wrapped in chains,
and with
the lid of the coffin
nailed air-tight.
***
That way, on the chance that I am successful,
***
it will be a double good trick.
Jokes for kids
q.
DO you know
what’s worse
than finding a
worm in
your apple?
a.
Finding that
same worm,
again, later,
in the arms of
your
betrothed!
American folk-heroes
DID you know
that
Davy Crockett,
once owned
a pet cricket
named,
Davy Crickett?
***
Parenthetically, it’s OK if you didn’t know. Not many people do.
***
Maybe, if
the cricket
had stayed on
to fight
at the Alamo,
we would
know more
about him.
***
But as it is,
Davy Crickett,
turned his tail
and
skedaddled.
2.
Basin street blues
I keep a
roach motel
under my
kitchen sink,
though,
I don’t
know why.
***
It hasn’t
caught
any-thing
in years.
***
At least,
not
since they
moved the
interstate.
Inside trefology
Every-thing
I ever learned
I learned from a
Every-thing
I Ever Learned
I Learned
in Kindergarten
poster.
2.
“Anti-gravity zoo” by Mary Cellini
© all rights reserved 2022
3.
TREFOLOGY AROUND THE TOWN
***
Good news, readers!
***
My ‘Jokes for Kids’
feature
is a hit with the kids!
***
Just this past
weekend, I was
dining with
my betrothed at a
cafe in
East Hollywood,
when a
six year old boy
came up to my
table and said,
“I enjoy your work”
***
He asked
if I would sign his
copy of
Hi-lights for Children magazine,
and then,
suddenly,
it hits me —
he was confusing me
for another writer!
***
But I didn’t want
to disappoint.
So, I nodded politely,
and signed,
“Garry Cleveland Myers”
over the
Goofus & Gallant cartoon.
***
Then I finished my meal.
t r e f o l o g y 