Steeped unconsciousness

IN

trefology

one should not feel compelled to climb a mountain

simply because it is there.

We ask, What if mountains are not there?

Certainly,

this would not be the first illusion

I’ve encountered that got me winded.

Maybe these so-called ‘mountains’

are really just phantasms created

by our unconsciousness,

that climbers sometimes

fall off of.

*

Part 2: What Price Abs?

*

In my family we have a story,

how, after my birth,

my father climbed Raymond Mountain,

and upon reaching the top

lifted my newly born self

high into the sky,

and in a strong, proud voice, said, “One!”

Then he lowered me back down,

but then quickly lifted me back up again.

“Two!” Said my father.

Unexplained mysteries

A man boards a 727 to Denver.

For reasons he cannot explain,

he immediately exits the plane.

Leaving the terminal, the man

hails down a taxi, telling the driver

to take him to Denver, asap.

A moment later,

the taxi takes off into the air,

crashing into the 727 to Denver.

Question:

How did this man know the plane was going to crash?


D8QeUsMXkAAaloY* special thanks to Koala LaFong, for use of the photo


Reminder: Though the Big Bang Theory was cancelled, you can still see the cosmic microwave remnants of it when you turn your tv to static.

Anything is a hat

I believe that any-thing that can

be balanced on one’s head

qualifies as a hat.

ii.

Example:

See this set of keys?

Now they are my hat.

An armadillo?

Now a hat.

iii.

A cracker-crack?

A shnoolzer-sack?

Or, even a fizza-me-gak?

Hat. Hat. Hat.

iv.

How about this beret?

… Well, no, maybe not the beret. 

But to be fair,

I don’t think I can personally pull it off.

v.

Still how about this old piece of dried-up dog crap?

Now its my hat!

But you get it.