Good news!

My friend quit drugs

by going cold turkey.

Bad news!

Now he’s addicted

to cold turkey.



he calls me late at night,

“Hey man, you got any sandwiches?”


My girlfriend telling me

she loved me a ‘bushel and a peck’

did not fill me with confidence,

based on her previous statements

regarding dry measurements

Tales told out of turn

Legend says,

a young Abraham Lincoln

once walked five miles

just to deliver a letter, that he

carried with him underneath his tall

stove pipe hat.


When he finally arrived,

a tired Lincoln removed his hat

and presented the letter.

The family was grateful,

but visibly dismayed to find the letter

covered with sweat, oil and coarse black hair,

which wreathed the letter

like a holiday ribbon.


Not wanting to insult Young Abraham,

the family nevertheless would

only accept the letter using a set of tongs.


The unflappable A. Lincoln merely laughed.

And when the letter was opened,

the family laughed, too,

because inside the envelope

was a shampoo sample



(sign in west covina, CA)

If offered, would you choose the blue pill? The red pill? Or, the green jelly bean? For those who chose green jelly bean — Trefology

Why do birds suddenly appear?

I say it’s you.

But really,

it’s bread-crumbs,



I remember my first cigarette. I still have it. It’s my lucky cigarette.

Who watches us?

Some things gone

may still remain.

Example: the Ty-d-bol man.

His ads disappeared from TV,

… a long time ago.

But, that doesn’t mean

he still isn’t

inside your toilet.


Go ahead and check.

He may just be there.

Boating around.

Killing time.

And waiting for


to notice him.

Steeped unconsciousness



one should not feel compelled to climb a mountain

simply because it is there.

We ask, What if  the mountain was not there?


this would not be the first illusion I’ve

encountered that got me winded.

Maybe these so-called ‘mountains’ are

really just phantasms created by our

unconsciousness, that

climbers sometimes fall off of.


Part 2: What Price Abs?


In my family we have a story,

how, after my birth,

my father climbed Raymond Mountain,

and upon reaching the top

lifted my newly born self

high into the sky,

and in a strong, proud voice, said, “One!”

Then he lowered me back down,

but then quickly lifted me back up again.

“Two!” Said my father.