Last night,

I was awoken by a raven

that had flown in through

my open window, and

perched itself atop my book-case.


Who is there? I cried.

Let me give you what for!

But t’wasn’t human that answered.


Said the raven,

“Dinty Moore”


Tell me, bird, I asked.

Are you an omen, or divine?

Is this a message of the future?

 Of what I have in store?

But my plea it went unanswered.


Said the raven,

“Dinty Moore”


Wait, I said,

as suddenly I knew.

Dinty Moore?

The beef-stew?


Is that why you bother me?

Is this what you tout?

Is that why you woke me?


Said the raven,

“I’ll show myself out.”


part two


The next morning,

still in my kerchief & night-gown,

I sat with a cup of coffee at

the breakfast nook;

lit a bowl, & pondered my

passerine pop-in ad.


And how, despite the intrusion,

I suppose some beef-stew

did sound pretty good.


When suddenly,

there was a tapping at my window.

It was another raven!

This one dressed smart —


In a pressed white shirt

with black tie — taut.

On a card table was an e-meter.


Said the raven,

“Would you like to see a thought?”

Ghosts of refreshment past


told us she would make us

her famous lemonade.

But she didn’t have all the ingredients. So,

she asked us to pray to God for a lemon.

We did,

— but none was forthcoming.

To our surprise, grandma just smiled, winked & said,

she would make lemonade out

of our predicament.

… But none of us were looking to drink

that shit.




Start a career in trefology to-day!

Contact us now at the phone number you think most likely

A girl named, sincerely

I used to know a girl named, Sincerely.

When she moved away,

I tried to write her a letter to

express all the things in my heart.

It was a very short letter.

It began,

Dear Sincerely,


P.S. Once again,

I have run out of room.


Then, at the bottom of the letter,

I added a bunch of X’s and O’s.

Telling her,

… this is what tic-tac-toe looks like

unbridled by the number sign.


Modern necromancy

The restless spirit of the

Spanish ventriloquist, Senor Wences

has begun communicating through me,

using my hand as a vehicle, just

as he once did his famous characters.


I say this to you, confidentially, &

only because, Senor Wences, has intimated 

that he has something very important

to tell you …

about the future!


So, pull up a chair, as I

don’t want you miss

a single word.


But before you do,

let me first apply some lip-stick to

my thumb and forefinger.


Because, friend,

there is something else I should tell you.

Senor Wences —

wants to kiss you!