Anything is a hat

I believe that any-thing that can

be balanced on one’s head

qualifies as a hat.

ii.

Example:

See this set of keys?

Now they are my hat.

An armadillo?

Now a hat.

iii.

A cracker-crack?

A shnoolzer-sack?

Or, even a fizza-me-gak?

Hat. Hat. Hat.

iv.

How about this beret?

… Well, no, maybe not the beret. 

But to be fair,

I don’t think I can personally pull it off.

v.

Still how about this old piece of dried-up dog crap?

Now its my hat!

But you get it.

False notions

Why are we frightened of the ridiculous?

Perhaps, horror movies

and ghost stories

have warped our sense of what is truly

frightening in this world

ii.

For instance, in real-life,

a skeleton cannot harm you.

There is no logical reason

to be frightened of a skeleton.

Unless, of course,

you happen to see one is walking toward you.

Then you should probably run.

iii. 

And, friend,

it doesn’t matter if when you look back

you notice that the skeleton

is still only walking, or,

has even stopped to get a drink of water.

You should run anyway.

There is no telling how relentless

a skeleton might be. 

iv. 

Do skeleton’s tire easily?

Hell, I don’t know.

Instead of looking to me for answers,

maybe you need to ask yourself,

What did I do to piss off this skeleton?

And while you’re doing that,

keep running.


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