Lately,

I’ve been

keeping

a daily

lucid-dream

journal.

Or — so,

I thought …

I have a trick knee.

***

So, I always know

when it’s raining.

Because when it rains,

my trick knee

gets wet.

***

I have an umbrella

***

but its one of those

cocktail umbrellas

and, so it only covers

one-half a trick knee.

.

 

I was never

very good

at yo-yo tricks,

though,

I can walk the

dog with a yo-yo,

if I use it

as a leash.

---

2.

When-ever,

I misplace

my glasses

I ask myself:

Where was the

last place I

remember

seeing clearly?

As a kid

I figured that

by to-day

we’d all be

traveling in

rocket ships

to the store.

I used to keep

a mousetrap in

my jacket pocket

in order, to

catch pick-pockets.

***

Then one day

it went ‘snap!’

And I pulled out

the mouse-trap,

but, to my surprise,

it was not the

hand of a thief

I caught

***

but an actual mouse!

***

Then it occurred to me,

maybe, I shouldn’t have

left that piece of cheese

on it

.

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2.

bigbaitcatchesbigrat

I saw an ad for the

Mozart Orchestra

appearing in town.

And, I was surprised.

I thought they broke up

a long time ago

when their lead guy died

If you ever

see a giant

cheese rolling

down the street

***

Get out of its way!

***

Because who knows what

the hell is going on.

I had a dream I

was back in the

fourth grade, and

everyone was

laughing at me.

***

I was standing in

the classroom,

in my under-pants.

***

And I wondered

how I failed to

notice this earlier.

***

Was I wearing

shoes and socks?

Yes!

***

But why was I wearing

them on my hands?!!

And who tied them?!

***

Then, the teacher comes in

and says

“It’s time for the big test!

***

“Big test?!” I said,

I forgot to study!

***

Then the teacher

exploded into a

thousand bats!

***

And then I woke up.

***

Covered in sweat.

***

And was I like,

Whew! Yeh,

***

I remember that day.

Growing up,

my mom would

buy me these

nutrition sticks.

***

The ad said, “It’s what astronauts eat”

And that was good enough for me.

***

But — they discontinued

that product a long time ago,

***

and yet, there are still astronauts.

***

Which leads me to my question,

Are we feeding them or what?

.

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2.