Astral
projecting
is
something
I could
see myself
doing
if I was
astral
projecting
2.
3.
I saw an
animated
cartoon
about a horse
who was
an
oceanographer.
***
and I had to cry foul,
***
because, man,
I can only accept
so much
The brothers trefology
IF you need
to buy
drinking glasses,
ask
the clerk to
direct you
to the
souvenir glass section,
because,
you can take those
home for free.
.
2.
3.
It seems to me
ANY
sandwich
brought
onto a
submarine
is a
submarine
sandwich.
The time before sandwiches
DID you know
that the
people who lived
during the
Middle Ages,
did not
eat sandwiches?
***
That’s a fact.
***
It turns out,
sandwiches
had not been
invented yet.
***
This, despite,
having
ALL
the ingredients
for one.
***
They just ate them all separate.
***
For, you see, back then …
***
First you bit a chunk of bread,
then you bit a chunk of meat,
then you bit a chunk of cheese,
and, then, I assume,
you licked a spoonful of mayonnaise.
***
Then one day,
the Earl of Sandwich
happened by,
took notice of this,
and said,
“I think I can help these idiots”
***
And later,
the Earl opened
a small deli.
***
… And I hear he was quite successful.
***
Finis
2.
.
.
Happy 79th Birthday, Mom!
Two after midnight
I once strayed
from the
path of success
only to be
attacked by
a werewolf.
“To die,
to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to
meet
Freddy Krueger.”
— Wm. Shakespeare
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
A friend of
mine was
crossing the
street in
Los Angeles
when he
was struck
by a car
and killed.
***
They tell me,
at the time,
he had been
wearing a
“Who farted?” t-shirt.
***
And that, for me, somehow made it worse
***
Because if
movies
have taught
me anything,
***
the clothes you die in, are the clothes you will wear for all eternity.
***
So, now,
not only
does he not
know
who farted
***
but he’ll be forever asking …
Trefology proudly presents its 700th post (big deal)
READ
THEM
ALL
2.
Dad.
3.
“Inside-out”
Written & performed by
George J. Raymond (related)
© 2022 all rights reserved
4.
I took myself too
far one day,
and filled up an
empty chamber.
Spun the wheel,
closed my eyes,
almost pulled the
trigger
***
Oh, what a night.
Oh, what a fight.
I went too far.
She took the car.
***
I was alone with
myself, seriously
doubting my
emotional health
***
Help! I cried out
That girl turned me
inside out.
***
Took advantage
of my collapse,
put the pistol in
the freezer
Grabbed some
ice,
a bottle of gin
found me a day
old pizza
***
Oh, what a night …
***
I was alone with myself …
***
Inside out, inside out
Inside out, inside out
Never thought
she’d go and leave me
inside out, inside out.
***
It must have
been the booze, or
something else
I started feeling
better,
grabbed my bike
and hit the road
***
I’ll find her
sooner or later.
***
Rainy night,
I was pretty tight,
ran the light,
never saw the car.
***
I was alone with myself …
It’s on me
When I’m
staying at
a hotel
and ordering a
drink from
room service,
***
I always
order a drink
for
every other
room, too,
***
because, if
there is one
thing I hate
***
it’s
drinking alone.
.
.
Sleepy-time
MY favorite
comfort food
is a
cheeseburger
on a
gigantic
sesame seed bun
the size
of a pillow.
A simpler age
I suspect
salad dressing
harkens back to
a more
modest time in
our society
2.
3.
“TA-DA!”
***
I am often asked,
what would happen if I were to die before finishing my life’s work at trefology?
***
Well, …
firstly,
dear Readers,
do not fear
my passing.
***
When my day
comes I will
embrace the
unknown
with open arms.
***
Because, Ladies and Gentlemen
I have a back-up plan!
***
HERE IS MY PLEDGE TO YOU
***
I will, one day,
return to earth,
to complete my
work at trefology!
***
How? Not sure yet
***
But, as such,
when I die,
I have requested
to be buried
in a straight jacket,
***
blind-folded,
***
wrapped in chains,
and
with
the lid of the coffin
nailed air-tight.
***
That way,
on the chance that
I am successful,
***
and I do return …
***
it will be a double good trick.
Jokes for kids
q.
DO you know
what’s worse
than finding a
worm in
your apple?
a.
Finding that
same worm,
again, later,
in the arms of
your
betrothed!
t r e f o l o g y 