The first mistake

a lot of pirates

make is burying

their treasure

on a place called

Treasure Island.

It’s sort of a giveaway.

The Ty-d-bol man

disappeared from TV,

a long time ago.

***

But, that doesn’t mean

he still isn’t inside

your toilet.

***

Motor-boating around.

biding his time.

Listening.

***

And waiting only for

YOU to notice HIM.

---

---

2.

“How Long Has It Been?”

written & performed

by

George J. Raymond

Copyright © 2015 All Rights Reserved

---

3.

How long has it been since

I made you happy?

How long has it been since

we really had some fun?

***

I don’t know how

it happened, but

darling, I believed

that

I was number one

***

Thank you so much

for taking my call,

I know your abroad

having a ball

***

But until you get home,

can’t wait til you do,

I’ll feel like number two

***

No rhythm or rhyme,

to you

leaving this time

I never went out on you

I did everything you

that told me to

***

You took a cruise

way across the sea,

left me alone in

New York city

Honey pie, won’t you have

some pity one me?

***

Take care of yourself

and be all right

I sleep on your

pillow every night

***

What’s that I hear

Are you starting to cry

And you heavy at heart

saying goodbye?

***

I think I understand now

so, I’ll give it a try

I’ll always love you

Good-bye

 My dog thinks she’s many people

---

but my she is also a germ phobic

& will not shake your hand.

So don’t ask.

I asked what my

girlfriend was

going to get me for

my birthday.

***

She said, “Close your eyes

and what do you see?”

***

Eyelids?

***

“And what do they say?”

***

Aww, ‘Happy Birthday, George!’

Did you know that Dracula

will never attack you

if you’re on a cross-walk?

You still may get hit by a car

-but don’t worry about Dracula.

---

ii. Won’t cross-fit either

“Blurry Love”

by Mary Cellini

© Copyright 2015 All Rights Reserved

I’m don’t think

there will ever be a word

to properly describe

Creepy magazine

It’s time to move out

of the 19th century

& start adding lightbulbs

to our birthday cakes

Not only are

children the future

but there is a

good chance they

will have

access to ray guns

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2.