“Slim” Jim Malone, a reader from the Seventh Ring of Hell, asks
Q. Why do I always find drowned insects in my swimming pool?
A. Arrogance. Conceit. The audacious insect mind reasons, ‘I can fly, so naturally I can swim.’
Poor insect depth perception could be blamed, too. Many a drowning insect was last heard to cry, “I thought I could stand!”
In answer to whether these insects should be saved, I say, Leave them Be. The insect will never learn to swim if you mollycoddle them. When I was young, my father, God rest ye merry gentlemen,* threw me into an empty swimming pool. I was badly injured but I learned the value of water! It is a lesson I carry with me to-day in the form of a reoccurring brain concussion.
And I consider this mystery solved after nearly a half century of research into the Be-Mind
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*My father is not dead. He is fine.