My mom used to
cut all the crust off
my sandwiches
because I only like
the crust
More specifically, laughter is the best over-the-counter medicine.
Category: Humor
Tales of employment
We all know the story
of how the eight members of Wallace Hartley’s band
continued playing
even as the Titanic was sinking.
But sometimes I wonder,
what of the other service staff?
ii.
What was the crepe guy doing?
Was he making crepes?
Or, was he making a raft made of crepes?
iii.
I think too of the ship’s scarf juggler.
Did he continue juggling scarves?
And did the Titanic even have a scarf juggler?
I have no idea.
I just assume, yes.
iv.
Finally,
what of the legend of the ship’s masseur?
Some claim, that during
the ship’s final moments
the masseur could be seen frantically giving
deep tissue leg massages,
though to himself.
v.
“Legs don’t fail me now!”
He was last heard to say.
Windy skies at night, sailors fly kites
When-ever,
my good friend,
Akmal the egg laying boy,
invites me over for
breakfast,
I always make sure
to tell him,
NO.
Transference
Good news!
My friend quit drugs
by going cold turkey.
Bad news!
Now he’s addicted
to cold turkey.
ii.
Some-times, he calls me late at night,
“Hey man, you got any sandwiches?”
My girlfriend telling me
she loved me a ‘bushel and a peck’
did not fill me with confidence,
based on her previous statements
regarding dry measurements
Tales told out of turn
Legend says,
a young Abraham Lincoln
once walked five miles
just to deliver a letter, that he
carried with him underneath his tall
stove pipe hat.
ii.
When he finally arrived,
a tired Lincoln removed his hat
and presented the letter.
The family was grateful,
but visibly dismayed to find the letter
covered with sweat, oil and coarse black hair,
which wreathed the letter
like a holiday ribbon.
iii.
Not wanting to insult Young Abraham,
the family nevertheless would
only accept the letter using a set of tongs.
iv.
The unflappable A. Lincoln merely laughed.
And when the letter was opened,
the family laughed, too,
because inside the envelope
was a shampoo sample
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If offered, would you choose the blue pill? The red pill? Or, the green jelly bean? For those who chose green jelly bean — Trefology
The oxford trefology
DID
William Shakespeare
write any of the works attributed to him?
I say, no.
And I will take that hypo-thesis
a step further and say,
I don’t think anyone else wrote them either.
ii.
My proof:
Have you seen the play, Romeo & Juliet?
That shit writes itself.
for dbb
Why do birds suddenly appear?
I say it’s you,
but really,
it’s bread-crumbs,
mostly
I remember my first cigarette. I still have it. It’s my lucky cigarette.
Who watches us?
Some things gone
may still remain.
Example: the Ty-d-bol man.
His ads disappeared from TV,
… a long time ago.
But, that doesn’t mean
he still isn’t
inside your toilet.
ii.
Go ahead and check.
He may just be there.
Boating around.
Killing time.
And waiting for
you
to notice him.
