GIVE
a man an ice cube
and he’ll
keep his beverage
cold for an hour.
***
But give a man
a pair of tongs,
and that
man can get his
own damn ice.
PROMOTED AD
READ THEM ALL.
LEARN LIFE LEARN TREFOLOGY
A portrait of a writer in diapers.
Category: Humor
Light energy
Do you want to
know a secret?
***
Aside from the
three wishes
granted me by
my
Fairy Godmother
***
not a single one of my other wishes has ever come true!
***
So, what do you do
when all the
standard channels of
wishing
are closed to you?
***
What do you do
when
it is not your birthday
and you have no
birthday candles?
***
What do you do
if, like me,
you find wish-bones,
kind of
disturbing?
***
I’ll tell you.
***
Did you know
that you can
make a wish on a
cloud?
***
It’s true!
***
Now I know what
you’re thinking,
“Make a wish on a cloud?
That sounds expensive!”
***
Well, you’ll be
happy to know that
it will cost you
almost
nothing.
***
So, go ahead,
find a cloud
and
make a wish!
***
But, remember,
it’s a cloud,
so,
it’s probably best
to keep your wish
simple,
or, cloud-related.
Rainy day worms #12 & 35
It seems to me
the only
contingency plan
worms have
for when it rains,
is to go
immediately
to which-ever
side-walk
that I am
walking on.
Wisdom
He who
lives
for the body
is dead,
though he
hath
a better weekend
than ye
Bonus: Free Trefology Motivational Poster
Tropical
My parents used to
hang my artwork
inside
the refrigerator,
but the joke was
on them
because my art was
mostly of bananas
“Laughing Tereso”
Laurel & hardy death car
My box of Fruit Loops
says, ‘No gluten’,
but if I was really
worried
about what I ate
I would look for
the box that says,
‘No Fruit Loops’.
Things I could see myself doing
1. Astral projecting
2. Mirror salesman
Jokes for kids
Q.
Do you know
why fish
never sleep?
A.
Because
they are just so
damned
busy!
Blood pancakes
I asked myself,
should
I really have another
serving of pancakes?
***
After-all,
I had already finished
three helpings,
and
though I was dining
at an
eat-all-you-can
pancake restaurant,
I still felt I might be
over-doing it.
***
So, I asked God
for a sign.
Any sign at all.
Should I have one more serving
of pancakes?
***
Suddenly, I heard
the crackle of the diner’s
over-head television set
being turned on, and
then an urgent news report:
Mining disaster in Asia!
Many feared dead.
Hundreds more missing.
***
So, yeh, I had another
serving of pancakes.
But I did not feel good
about it
Jimmerson’s triangle
I could lie &
tell you that Trefology
is based
on NEWLY-DISCOVERED
Atlantean texts,
though I doubt you’d
believe me.
***
But — then, again,
maybe you would …
***
Because,
do you know what?
***
They are.
Gates of heaven
Last night
my goldfish
died,
driven insane
by syphilis
***
I guess I really
should have been
better about
changing the water
***
As atonement,
I wanted
the fish to have a
proper
Christian burial,
but, for all
my re-search,
I could find
nothing
on the subject
***
So, taking
a page from
the Bible,
I wrapped the
fish in it.
***
Bon voyage, old friend.
RIP Vida
by Mary Cellini
© 2021
