The idea of posthumous fame
does not bother me.
If it happens that after I’m gone,
invoking my name brings about
a glowing, wish-granting disembodied head.
And it becomes quite popular.
That might be enough for me
A message from Our Founder:
“Bring me your tired, your sleepy, your groggy, your napping.
Everyone is welcome.
— TREFOLOGY CARES —
Note:
Please do not bring me your fast asleep, as I am not running some kind of hotel.
A man boards a 727 to Denver.
For reasons he cannot explain,
he immediately exits the plane.
Leaving the terminal, the man
hails down a taxi, telling the driver
to take him to Denver, asap.
A moment later,
the taxi takes off into the air,
crashing into the 727 to Denver.
Question:
How did this man know the plane was going to crash?
* special thanks to Koala LaFong, for use of the photo
Reminder: Though the Big Bang Theory was cancelled, you can still see the cosmic microwave remnants of it when you turn your tv to static.
By the comedy rule of three,
your third bowel-movement of the day
should be the funny one.
I always keep
my pockets full of posey,
so, if a cop ever asks me to
empty my pockets,
he’ll think I have the plague
Without contractions Immanuel Kant would be Immanuel Kannot
I believe that any-thing that can
be balanced on one’s head
qualifies as a hat.
ii.
Example:
See this set of keys?
Now they are my hat.
An armadillo?
Now a hat.
iii.
A cracker-crack?
A shnoolzer-sack?
Or, even a fizza-me-gak?
Hat. Hat. Hat.
iv.
How about this beret?
… Well, no, maybe not the beret.
But to be fair,
I don’t think I can personally pull it off.
v.
Still how about this old piece of dried-up dog crap?
Now its my hat!
But you get it.
Why are we frightened of the ridiculous?
Perhaps, horror movies
and ghost stories
have warped our sense of what is truly
frightening in this world
ii.
For instance, in real-life,
a skeleton cannot harm you.
There is no logical reason
to be frightened of a skeleton.
Unless, of course,
you happen to see one is walking toward you.
Then you should probably run.
iii.
And, friend,
it doesn’t matter if when you look back
you notice that the skeleton
is still only walking, or,
has even stopped to get a drink of water.
You should run anyway.
There is no telling how relentless
a skeleton might be.
iv.
Do skeleton’s tire easily?
Hell, I don’t know.
Instead of looking to me for answers,
maybe you need to ask yourself,
What did I do to piss off this skeleton?
And while you’re doing that,
Keep-Running.
I once had a job
working at a futon store.
But it folded.
Like most kids from the ’70s
I learned about anthropomorphism
from the birds & the bees
