Humor

Ribbons & toes

George Raymond65 Comments

For the Christmas of

my sixteenth year,

I wanted one thing

over all else.

***

And I went straight

to the place of my

parents work, to

tell them.

***

I bounded in and

immediately declared

that I wanted a car

for Christmas.

— Preferably, new.

***

My dad and mom both

stopped working, and

looked over at me.

*

My mom put down her coal shovel.

***

Said my mom,

“Why do you think you deserve a new car?”

***

“Well, I said, thoughtfully,

“All of my friends have new cars.”

***

“Well —” my mother said,

prepared for such answer.

“If all of your friends

were to jump off a bridge

— would you?”

***

“No,” I replied.

***

“All right,” she said.

“But would you for a new car?”

***

PART II

***

That Christmas morning

I awoke to find a long

red ribbon tied to my big toe.

What’s this? I asked myself.

Could it be?

***

Excitedly, I got out of bed

& began to follow the ribbon as it

led me out of my room.

***

The ribbon led me:

***

down the hallway,

into the living room,

past the Christmas tree,

into the foyer

out the front door,

over the moat,

across the yard, and

into our driveway (!)

***

Where it then

double-backed

up and around a tree,

before …

***

going back across the yard,

over the moat,

through the front door,

into the foyer

past the Christmas tree,

through the living room,

down the hallway, and

back into my room.

***

Where,

to my great disappointment,

I discovered that it was

tied to my other toe.

Finis.

0

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

65 thoughts on “Ribbons & toes”

  2. Love it :) A brilliant Christmassy journey back and forth of the olde tref headquarters to keep one on one’s toes!
    Moats… ah, we sadly had to have our grand old moat filled in because of the constant problem with beavers stealing our drawbridge to make dams.

    Merry Christmas to you and all!

    Reply

  5. Wished for a missile Got a ribbon with a bow Tied to missile toe

    When Ma’s shovel shoves Envy’s hot wheels off a bridge Her gift isn’t coal

    Good tidings!

    Reply

  8. Something. . .something. . .about “missle toes”?

    Ah, I miss having a moat. My family used to have a moat in God’s Eye, South Carolina, when we lived between the Nivens and the Pournelles.

    Reply

  20. This tale was a great vehicle for a toetally intriguing yarn!

    (yeah, pretty weak on my part, but I’m blaming it on holiday brain)

    Hope you had the merriest of merrys!

    Reply

    • Thank you and I did! Happy New Year, Traci! I enjoy your blog and your brilliant photos and I look forward to seeing what you have planned for the coming year

      Reply

  21. Hahaha. Awwww….
    That reminds me of a scene in the first Transformers when the father starts driving the son through a Porsche lot and he’s like, “Really? Oh, my God, really, Dad?” and the dad laughs and says, “No, of course not!” and drives out and over to a used car lot.
    Not as mysterious and winding and charming as the journey as above, tho, of course, lol !!

    Reply

  27. Great story! We used to do that ribbon thing back when I was a teen, to my brother-in-law’s dismay. But one time the string led to a beer cooler😄

    Reply

  30. Well it’s too late for merry Christmas, but I must tell you, you really know how to crack us up. It was toe-tally worth it

    Reply

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