The time-line

While going through some old boxes, looking for my kazoo, I found

the written record, taken by me, of an unfortunate

incident at my first rented flat in San Francisco in 1985


6 a.m.

House-mate awakens

feeling violently ill.


6:15 a.m.

Woken by his cries,

I immediately

fall back to sleep.


6:30 a.m.

Woken, again, by

his cries, I rush

to the kitchen,

and fix myself

a heaping burlap

satchel of waffles.


06:45 a.m.

I call the doctor.


07:30 a.m.

Doctor arrives,

rushes to

the kitchen,


fixes himself a

heaping burlap

satchel of waffles.


08:30 a.m.

Doctor goes to House-mate’s room.

Sends in a canary.


11:59 a.m.

Canary returns

with a renewed

sense of pride,

an olive branch,

and a

heaping burlap

satchel of waffles.


12:01 p.m.

Doctor administers medicine


12:02 p.m.

House-mate feels better


12:03 p.m.

House-mate dies.


12:30 p.m.

Doctor composes the Magic Flute


12:45 p.m.

Austrian Deluxe singer Falco records ‘Rock Me Amadeus’.


1:00 p.m.

George runs out of ideas for time-line bit.


1:03 p.m

George begins working on next bit.






44 thoughts on “The time-line

  1. (1) I once ate an awful waffle. It didn’t have that burlap satchel aroma that I always crave.
    (2) So where is the canary now? Somewhere in the islands?
    (3) The hand that rocks the cradle belongs to Amadeus? I prefer Rebecca De Mornay.
    (4) True story: When my aunt became pregnant years ago, I suggested she name the boy Wolfgang. My aunt’s married name is Green.
    (5) I suggest you go back in time and correct this whole house-mate situation. Do you wish to borrow my DeLorean? I just overhauled the flux capacitor, so it’s ready to go.


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