The
Lady of the Lake
used to live
behind my house.
***
Every now and again,
she’d emerge from
the water and give me
something.
***
Like, Excalibur’s
old cracked boat oar.
***
Excalibur’s
single flip-flop.
***
Excalibur’s
Coke bottle
with mud in it.
***
Excalibur’s
wallet & I.D.
***
Then one day she
gave me Excalibur’s
left femur bone
***
and that’s when
we had to involve
the authorities
.
Keep on circulating the URL
t r e f o l o g y 
Hahahahaha! This is superb. Absolutely wonderful
Thank you
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Thanks, Steve. Much appreciated!
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Very sensible too. Sounds more like Stormbringer than Excalibur to me.
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You need to take that up with the LotL. And thanks, Bruce!
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Wait—wasn’t Excalibur the sword?
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That’s a totally different story. And thanks, Pam!
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Oh my, what a delightful story! That final twist nearly did me in!
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Thanks, Big Jim!
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:D :D :D Merlin is laughing!
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I always liked that guy. Thanks, mm!
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How funny!
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Thanks, Dawn!
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(1) The Lady of the Lake’s ex was Lancelot du Lac, which explains why her actual name is Véronique du Lac (which translates as Veronica Lake).
(2) The story: Arthur Calibur, wearing his flip-flips, and drinking a bottle of Coke, set out on the lake in his little fishing boat. Arthur accidentally hooked the Lady of the Lake, causing her to emerge in a very angry state. She grabbed one of the oars and gave Art a nasty whack. He fell out of the boat, drowned, and was quickly devoured. Except for a femur, which Véronique du Lac promptly called Excalibur, and which she set aside as a future warning to anyone with a boat and a fishing rod. However, she needed someone to relay that warning. That’s where George came into the picture. Her only fear was that George would notify the authorities, and that they would then drag the lake. So, in addition to a flip-flop, a cracked oar, and a femur (Excalibur), Véronique du Lac also provided George with Arthur Calibur’s wallet and I.D., thinking that would satisfy the authorities, and that they would leave her in peace. And they did. (Source: The Art of the Whack, by Véronique du Lac)
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Either that or just some guy named Excalibur. The moral? Always wear a life-jacket.
And thanks, David, that was wonderful.
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Very clever, George. 😁
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Thanks, John!
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😊
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A timely reminder about the dark side of the Lady of the Lake. Over the years, she has been sighted on Lake Chelan by passengers on a Washington state charter boat. Despite drowning incidents, no one has been brave enough to stir the waters by notifying the medieval authorities.
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Well, she’s cleaning things up, anyway, and that counts for something. Thanks, Geoff!
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Yes, I have saved all the Cleanliness stickers I have received over the years. I think I have three of them.
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I have a couple, too — though I think they’re mixed in with my old Wacky Packages.
That said, the LotL once gave me Excalibur’s old clock radio. I asked if it made me king. She said no — but it would wake me each morning to great soft-rock hits of the ’70s.
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You and I are way better off than the Kings of yore. We wake to soft rock, use flush toilets,….wait, you do have indoor plumbing, right?
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In a manner of speaking, yes.
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Thats hilarious
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Thanks, Bob!
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Was there money in that wallet? Excalibur owed me 80 bucks.
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No, but there was a folded note that said, “Noisily cannot be trusted.” And thanks, N!
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Ha, this is wild and funny, like a mix of magic and chaos all in one story.
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Thanks, Willie! I like that comment.
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You are very welcome… Great and Fun Post…
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If Excalibur has a femur bone, it’s probably King Arthur incognito. :)
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According to the I.D. from the wallet, it was just some guy named Excalibur. A not uncommon name in the late 1960s. And thanks, Nancy!
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🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Thanks, Janny!
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Finally, the alternate ending to the other Raymond, Chandler’s mystery.
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I’ll take that. Thanks, E Sum
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You earned it, Raymond. She never gave Marlowe any gifts.
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Always knew there was something off about that lake lady! lol
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Nah, she was just cleaning up. She’s ok. Thanks, Seliz!
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:D :D good lord! <3
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Haha! Thanks, Carol
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Wow . Good one 😀
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Thanks, Priti!
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😊🙏🏼
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Oh! she used to give me goosebumps in all the stories I read as a kid… to have her in your own backyard – I wouldn’t sleep! Fabulous post!!!!
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She was alright, once you got to know her. Thanks, Linda!
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Such a wonderful read! You got the writing talent for certain!
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Thanks for the kind words!
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You deserve the kind words
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How you create such perfect mysteries in such a few short lines… damn, beautiful writing that always brings a laugh. Brilliant as always.
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Thank you very much, Dalo. I appreciate the kind words.
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