I believe that

any-thing that can be

placed on one’s head

qualifies as a hat.

***

Example:

See this set of keys?

Now they are my hat.

***

An armadillo?

Now a hat.

***

A cracker-crack?

A shnoolzer-sack?

Or, even a clickety-clack?

Hat. Hat. Hat.

***

How about this beret?

Well, no, maybe not

the beret. 

But to be fair,

I don’t think

I can personally

pull it off.

***

Still how about this

old piece of dried-up

dog crap?

Now its my hat!

***

But you get it.

Why are we

frightened of

the ridiculous?

***

Perhaps,

horror movies,

& ghost stories

have warped

our sense of

what is truly

frightening in

this world

***

For instance,

in real-life,

a skeleton cannot

harm you.

***

In that wise,

there is no

reason to be

frightened of one.

***

Unless you see one

walking toward you.

***

Then, you should

probably run.

***

And, friend, it

doesn’t matter if

you look back

and notice the

skeleton is

walking into a

Baskin-Robbins

***

You need to run anyway.

***

There is no

telling how

relentless a

skeleton might be. 

***

Question:

Do skeleton’s

tire easily?

***

Hell if I know.

***

Instead of looking

to me for answers,

maybe you need to

ask yourself,

***

What the hell did I do to piss off this skeleton?

***

And while you’re

doing that-keep running.

.

Keep circulating the URL

Like most kids

raised in the 1970s,

I learned about

anthropomorphism

from the

birds & the bees

Keep circulating the URL

I suffer

from moderate

to severe

lazy-bones.

.

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It only exercises

the string finger

.

walking the dog

by alex case

Probably the

greatest hurdle

when exploring

the mind,

especially for

the tape-worm,

is that you’re

going to want to

avoid the

temptation to

lay eggs. 

.

Keep circulating the URL

After lights out

all the monks

come to-gether

to gossip, and

chat and do each

other’s hair.

***

And it’s all good fun.

***

But then,

one monk hits

another monk

with a heavy

slab of stone.

***

  And suddenly,

it’s a pillow fight.

.

2.

Keep circulating the URL

I love jack-in-the-box

music, but after

an hour my arm starts

to hurt from

turning the crank.

Woke up.

Got out of bed.

Dragged a comb

across my head.

Was sued by

the Beatles.

.

Keep circulating the URL

At the super-market I saw

a “Warning: Wet Floor” cone

tipped over on its side.

***

Clearly, another case of

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

.

2.

3.

Weird how

Ritz crackers

and the

Ritz brothers

both seem too

buttery to me.