When I die, please

remember to place

a gold coin in my

mouth so that I may

pay the Ferryman.

***

And while you’re there.

***

Place another coin

in my ear— so I

can do a magic trick

for the Ferryman.

***

Next, please fill an

envelope with bread

crumbs, then tuck it

in my inside jacket

pocket.

On the envelope write:

“For ducks”

***

And lastly, place

a small toy globe

in my lower jacket

pocket, so when I

reach the land of the

dead

I can show everybody

where I used to live.

.

---

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Keep circulating the URL

X marks the spot

where I buried

my xylophone

***

Y marks the spot

where I questioned

my reason for being

***

Z marks the spot

where I took a nap.

***

And XYZ marks the spot

where my friend told me

my zipper was down.

---

Keep circulating the URL

My shadow self

loves mushrooms.

I can’t stand them.

So anytime I see

it eating some,

I just slide on over

into the shade—

“Now how are they?” I say to it.

.

---

2.

featured reader

Jita

---

3.

Appendix A: 

WHO IS MENTIONING ME NOW?

Trefology in Who’s Out There?

My favorite site

for ghosts of

ink and paper.

***

To read click here

---

Keep circulating the URL

It takes a

village to

kill a

Frankenstein

monster.

.

---

---

.

3.

When I was a kid,

the goat deity Baphomet

used to appear at our

home every year at

Thanksgiving for dinner.

***

I remember my

grandmother would always

get his name wrong—

calling him, “Bath-mat”.

***

And everyone would laugh.

***

Everyone but Baphomet.

***

He would just pretend

not to notice, or else

try to change the subject.

***

One Thanksgiving,

my mom had a

bath-mat specially made

with Baphomet’s image.

***

But he ended up

cancelling at

the last minute.

.

---

Keep circulating the URL

Why be a

double spy

when you can be a

triple spy?

Which— if I know

my fromology,

is a creamier spy.

.

---

2.

Keep circulating the URL

Back before the

invention of the

compass,

sailors relied on

the Northman

for directions.

***

They’d say

***

“Hey, Northman, which way to your house?

—OK, go in that direction.”

I give all

my spoils to

the victor.

***

But what of you

the reader?

***

Who do you

give your

spoils to?

.

(Fill in answer here):_____________________.

Hard to believe

there was a time when

man believed the

earth was triangular.

***

Strictly speaking, of course,

I don’t mean

ALL of man.

***

Not even some of man.

***

Really, just this one—

***

Larry Triangles.

---

---

I used to keep a diary.

But I was so worried

it would be boring,

I began lying in it.

Then, later, I published

it under the title:

***

My Perilous Journey to the North Pole.

*

---

---

Trefology thanks

you for reading,

writing

& arithmetic.

.

---

Keep circulating the URL

Sometimes I like

to stroll through

graveyards with

a notebook, writing

down the names of

people I might

want to hang out

with— someday.

*

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