One Christmas

my parents

bought me a

bicycle built-for-two

& forced me to

make a friend.

---

Zander, klaus weiß, wann du an Zander Klaus denkst

In my youth,

adults were always

telling me to

“hold my horses”,

but never to ride

my horses.

***

Or feed my horses.

***

Or lock up my horses

at night.

***

And pretty soon,

***

I had no more horses

---

Zander, klaus weiß, wann Sie schlafen.

No one was un-happier

to see the prodigal son

return home more than

Daisy, the fatted calf.

---

This year, Zander Klaus is filling his sleigh full of sleighs. All sleighs must go.

I hope loose lips

no longer

sink ships,

because my mom

won’t stop

talking about

her cruise

to Alaska.

---

Have you written your letter of apology to Zander Klaus yet?

Flying is

safer than

driving,

but just try

getting a

flight out

of LAX to

McDonalds.

.

---

2.

PROMOTED AD

---

3.

To me,

all popular music

written after

the song

“green-sleeves”

sucks.

.

---

---

"In a Photograph"

Written & performed

by

George J. Raymond

Copyright © 2019 all rights reserved

---

.

I love to see you

smile,

love to hear you laugh,

I’ve got one of those

in a photograph

***

And I love to hear

you sleep,

love to watch you dream,

I got both of those

in my memories

***

If you could feel what

I feel

when I see you,

heart starts pounding

chills go flying

through me …

***

I love to see you

smile,

love to hear you laugh,

I’ve got one of those

in a photograph

If you want to

blow the mind

of a hamster

take it to see

a ferris wheel.

Good news!

I’ve secured a seasonal job

working in the Dead Letter

department of the post office.

***

As such, if any of you would

like to get in contact with me,

***

Just write me a letter.

***

And don’t address it.

***

I’ll be sure to get it,

… eventually.

.

---

2.

trefology sticker in brooklyn. special thanks to firstofthemohicans

.

---

3.

Pete Seeger sang

***

“If I had a hammer,

I would hammer

in the evening.”

***

What a jerk.

---

4.

PROMOTED AD

TREFOLOGY AROUND THE GLOBE!

“I’ve Been Treffing” from the Vintage Toy Advertiser

To read the article click here

(Or not. It has come to my attention it may be no more)

---

Keep circulating the URL

A good idea

for a book on

pet burial

would be a

hollowed-out book

Last night, I was

awoken by a raven

that had flown in

through my open window,

and perched itself

atop my book-case.

***

“Who is there?” I cried.

“Let me give you what for!”

But t’wasn’t human that

answered.

***

Said the raven,

“Dinty Moore.”

***

Tell me, bird, I asked.

Are you an omen,

or divine?

Is this a message of

the future — of

 what I have in store?

But my plea it went

unanswered.

***

Said the raven,

“Dinty Moore.”

***

“Wait,” I said, as

suddenly I knew.

“Dinty Moore?

The beef-stew?”

***

“Is that why you bother me?

Is this what you tout?

Is that why you woke me?”

***

Said the raven,

“I’ll show myself out.”

***

part two

***

The next morning,

still in my kerchief &

night-gown, I sat with

a cup of coffee at

the breakfast nook

***

Lit a bowl,

and pondered my

passerine

pop-in crook

***

… And how,

despite the intrusion,

I suppose some beef-stew

did sound pretty good.

***

When suddenly,

there was a tapping at my

window.

***

It was another raven!

This one dressed smart —

***

In a pressed white shirt

with black tie taut.

On a card table was an

e-meter.

***

Said the raven,

“Would you like to see a thought?”