Walking home

in East Hollywood,

a stranger asked me

if I had a light.

***

And though,

I had some

iron pyrite,

a seeing-glass,

and a stick

and a flint

***

It was easier

to just say,

***

“Nope.”

 

I will always remember

the day my car was stolen.

ii.

I immediately notified

the authorities and

filed a report. But they

told me not to hold out

too much hope for having

it found.

iii. 

The following week

the police called me.

They said that they

had located my vehicle,

but, — Bad News:

my car had been completely

stripped for parts.

iv.

“OK,” I said. “I’ll come by and pick it up.”

v.

The policeman replied,

“That’s OK, we’ll just mail it to you.”

vi.

A week later,

I rec’d an envelope in

the mail from the police.

vii.

Inside the envelope was

my windshield wiper blade.

viii.

Under-neath the blade was a ticket.

*     

---

II.

 

I named my dog,

B-I-N-G-O, so

she would not

only know her

name, but how to

spell it

.

---

Keep circulating the URL

We tend to

take a lot of

things for granted.

***

Take my watch,

for example,

***

it takes for granted

that I can tell time.

.

---

Keep circulating the URL

If it were suddenly

come to light that Grant

wasn’t buried in Grant’s

tomb, a lot of riddle

books would have to send

out re-tractions

My apartment has a

table of contents,

because my apartment

does not have cabinets

---

Question of the day: Is the earth hollow or it is filled with stuff?

For as long as

I can remember my

mother always set

the table with

two sets of identical

salt & pepper shakers.

***

It didn’t make a

difference how

many were eating

or what was being served.

***

The table would

always be set with

two sets of

salt & pepper shakers.

***

I the time 

I stayed home from

school due to

a high fever.

***

My dad rolled in the TV set

so, I could watch cartoons.

***

My sister brought me some comic books

***

And my mom brought

in a tray with a

bowl of Spaghetti’o’s,

a sandwich and two

sets of 

salt & pepper shakers.

***

And though I often

wondered why she did

this.

I never spoke of it

***

Until last week.

When I went to

visit my mother

at the Home for

the Very Age-ed.

***

She and I sat in her

small room and

reminisced about the

old times

***

And then, finally,

after an hour,

I gathered up the nerve

to ask the question

that had nagged me for

these many years.

***

I asked,

“Why did you always set the

table with two sets of

salt & pepper shakers?”

***

My mother

closed her

eyes as if

in deep

contemplation

***

She spoke just

above a whisper.

And I leaned

in close so

as not to

miss a word.

***

Said my mother

“One set, my son … was poison!”

for j.p.

If I were to find a

dead bumble-bee,

in a can of

Bumble-bee tuna fish.

How could I complain?

I knew what I was

getting into at the start

My experiments

using LSD

to communicate

with dolphins

failed,

largely because

I was unable to

convince

any dolphins into

trying LSD

.

---

2.

Lily of the field

.

---

3.

my top

ten desert

island discs

are all

inflatable 

IN

the furthering of

my researches into

matter, energy,

space & time, 

I ordered something

off the internet

called a God Helmet.

***

Upon receiving it,

I was disappointed

to find that instead

of a God Helmet,

with an ‘o’,

***

I had purchased

a ‘Gad’ Helmet,

with an ‘a’.

***

But, in the spirit

of exploration,

I put it on my head,

anyway

***

I plugged it in.

I switched it on,

***

And damn it, friends, 

if I did not see Gad.

***

And Gad says, “HEY!”