If you want a

convict to sing

like a bird,

lock him in a cell

with a mirror & a

little bell.

***

But mark my words,

afterwards,

it’s going to be

a lot harder to

get him to sit

on your finger.

.

---

Take it from me,

don’t go to a job fair

expecting to be a

pie-eating Judge.

Unless, of course,

it is your

life’s ambition!

---

PROMOTED AD

My friend told

me that

during his trip to

Thailand, he tried

fried monkey brain

***

And he said it tasted like chicken

***

I was glad to hear it.

***

Because I’ve tried chicken,

***

And now I don’t have

to try monkey brain

 PROMOTED AD

Whenever I get a

letter addressed to

me or “current resident,”

I wonder what I did

to make them think I

might’ve skipped town.

During the coming

World War

Target stores

will be bombed first

purely in the

name of irony

A good Friend

may contact you

& unprompted

bring up the

subject of trefology.

***

HOW WILL YOU REPLY?

.

---

PROMOTED AD

I always feel

guilty

when I throw away

an apple core,

because I know

those

apple seeds had

some big plans

I keep tin cans tied

to the back of my car

not because

I was married in the 1920s,

but to attract goats.

Before the approach

amateur bowler Babe Ruth

used to point in the direction of the lane

that he intended to bowl in

 

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