Guardian of the super moist

Last night,

I was visited by

the Angel of

Food Cake.

***

Now,

how this angel happened

to get into my room,

I do not know, as the door

was locked, but she tapped

a few times on my forehead

to wake me up.

***

The angel was dressed

in a flowing gown of wax

paper & string,

and in her grip

she held a flaming

cake-stand,

made of the finest Bakelite.

***

And I asked the angel

if she had come from

heaven

to bring me cake.

***

But the angel

justย laughed,

shook her head,

and said,

“Like you need cake.”

***

I said,

“Aww, come on,

please, angel,

I’ll put on some coffee.

It’ll be great.”

***

And lo,

the angel presented me with a

large cake of orange hue,

which I instantly recognized.

***

“Wait, carrot cake?”

I said.

“I hate carrot cake.”

***

Parenthetically, dear readers,

Carrot cake is the worst.

***

It’s like, …

when you were a kid

and your parents told

you there would be NOย dessert

unless you ate all

vegetables on your plate.

So, you did.

Only to discover, later,

that dessert

was more vegetables!

***

But, in reply,

the angel, only smiled,

winked an eye, and

exited out my

bedroom window

***

The next morning,

I left the carrot cake in the

office break-room,

un-touched, and still on

the flaming cake stand.

***

A few minutes later

I heard someone say,

“Oh, cake!” And, then,

“Ew.”

***

“I hear you, brother,”

I said to myself.

“I hear you.”

42 thoughts on “Guardian of the super moist

  1. The genius of “Guardian of the super moist” made me do it, brother.

    Vegetables in a kid’s dessert (eeewww)
    Angel Fudd’s Veg-Fwee Cawwot Cake (wabbit stew)
    Not as moist as veggy cake (easy chew)
    Owange color added (bones wemoved)
    Shotgun pellets can be spit out (fur balls too)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hah! Thanks CES. Historical trivia: Once Man and Science figured a way to safely remove the bones from cake without damaging the fragile fondant, cake was suddenly elevated to High Tea, and would not be associated with the rabble until Betty Crocker came on the scene in the 1950s.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. (1) At least it wasn’t the devil’s food cake on a flaming cake stand.
    (2) You don’t carrot all for veggie cake?
    (3) The angel saw your sexy forehead, and muttered to herself, “I’d tap that!”
    (4) If you ever wake up to a fruitcake, check to see if it’s groundhog day.
    (5) If you ever wake up in the middle of the night to find that you’re glowing in the dark, it’s because you ate yellowcake in your asleep. When it comes to cake, never choose the nuclear option.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hubby LOVES carrot cake. He claims, “It’s healthy for you.”
    I guess any carrots that are actually in it, in his mind, completely overwhelm, undermine, and cancel out the butter, oil, sugar, eggs, and salt also included in the recipe!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your comment about parents saying you can only have dessert after you eat all your veggies reminded me of our oldest when we’d go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and we’d tell her to make sure to get something green. She always came back with green jello. ๐Ÿ™‚ Fun family lore. Thanks for jogging my memory on that one.

    Liked by 1 person

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