Humor

Excalibur

George Raymond51 Comments

The

Lady of the Lake

used to live

behind my house.

***

Every now and again,

she’d emerge from

the water and give me

something.

***

Like, Excalibur’s

old cracked boat oar.

***

Excalibur’s

single flip-flop.

***

Excalibur’s

Coke bottle

with mud in it. 

***

Excalibur’s

wallet & I.D.

***

Then one day she

gave me Excalibur’s

left femur bone

***

and that’s when

we had to involve

the authorities

.

Keep on circulating the URL

51 thoughts on “Excalibur”

  7. (1) The Lady of the Lake’s ex was Lancelot du Lac, which explains why her actual name is Véronique du Lac (which translates as Veronica Lake).
    (2) The story: Arthur Calibur, wearing his flip-flips, and drinking a bottle of Coke, set out on the lake in his little fishing boat. Arthur accidentally hooked the Lady of the Lake, causing her to emerge in a very angry state. She grabbed one of the oars and gave Art a nasty whack. He fell out of the boat, drowned, and was quickly devoured. Except for a femur, which Véronique du Lac promptly called Excalibur, and which she set aside as a future warning to anyone with a boat and a fishing rod. However, she needed someone to relay that warning. That’s where George came into the picture. Her only fear was that George would notify the authorities, and that they would then drag the lake. So, in addition to a flip-flop, a cracked oar, and a femur (Excalibur), Véronique du Lac also provided George with Arthur Calibur’s wallet and I.D., thinking that would satisfy the authorities, and that they would leave her in peace. And they did. (Source: The Art of the Whack, by Véronique du Lac)

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  9. A timely reminder about the dark side of the Lady of the Lake. Over the years, she has been sighted on Lake Chelan by passengers on a Washington state charter boat. Despite drowning incidents, no one has been brave enough to stir the waters by notifying the medieval authorities.

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