If I jumped out of
a plane and my
parachute failed
to deploy, the
first thing I’d
do is look
for a haystack.
***
If no haystack
is forthcoming,
then I would look
for a pile of
old mattresses.
***
If no pile of
old mattresses
is forthcoming,
***
then I would
change tactics and
start looking
for somebody who
owes me money.
***
If no one who
owes me money
is forthcoming,
***
I suppose I
would just start
flapping my arms
.
.
Keep circulating the URL
Old joke:
–A man fell out of an airplane.
–Oh, that’s bad.
–No, that’s good. He had a parachute.
–Oh, that’s good.
–No, that’s bad. The parachute failed to open.
–Oh, that’s bad.
–No, that’s good. Because he saw a haystack right below him.
–Oh, that’s good.
–No, that’s bad. Because there was a pitchfork in the haystack.
–Oh, that’s bad.
–No, that’s good. He missed the pitchfork.
–Oh, that’s good.
–No, that’s bad. He missed the haystack, too.
Sounds like something Rowan & Martin might have done.
💙
Thanks, orededrum.
Bet you would create quite a flap when you landed.
PS> What I owe you, a cheque’s in the post.
Cash on impact only. And thanks, Bruce.
Then again maybe you are on a Tom Cruise film set. No worries.
Thankfully, and thanks, Pam
If this is an April Fool’s joke, I’m not falling for it.
It is much too late for that. Thanks, fw
I did a charity skydive once and scared the living daylights out of my instructor. We left the plane and at 2000 feet he yelled at me “Pull your cord!”, and I replied “I’m OK this is fun”….at 1000 feet he yelled again, “Pull your cord!” and I responded, “The scenery is so enjoyable!”. At 500 the Instructor screamed “Pull your flipping cord!!!” and I said “Ooh I just saw my house.”. At 10 feet he cried, “Pull…..IT….NOW!!!” then at 2 feet he said ” TOO LATE!!!!” and I replied “Oh it’s ok….I can step down from here!”
Suffice to say I’ve not done another skydive since!
Hilarious. Thanks, Tyeth!
Love this. Personally, I figure I’d lean into it. Aim for maximum splat
Thanks, Steve!
:D :D :D It’s a bird! No, it’s a plane! No, it’s George; get a net!
Hah! Thanks, mm!
I don’t believe the person who owes you money would be a soft landing. Maybe look for someone to whom you owe money . I’ll bet they would greet you with open arms. Fun one George.
There is logic there. Thanks, John!
Anytime, 😊
Good strategy.
Thanks, Sadje!
You’re welcome
So smart to have a plan. Without one, I would just start screaming. Your plan is so good, I have printed a copy to carry in my wallet. Please post: “If I Drove My Car Into a Lake.”
Funny, Geoff and thanks!
All of that is a solid plan.
Thanks, Ilsa!
Haystack, mattresses, someone that owes you money, arm-flapping. Yep, that’s the pre-flight check list. All the right stuff to go to Sporting level.
That holds the arm-flapping until you spot the haystack you are looking for. The arm-flapping waves the first-cabin passengers out of the plane with a chance for a soft landing. You get points for every one that hits the hay. Then you return to the cockpit and look for a stack of mattresses, so you can flap the business-cabin passengers out of the plane with a chance to dream on. Then, to flap out someone that owes you money in economy, and tourists with return bookings, you look for a trampoline with a bullseye on it. It’s easy to miss, but it’s there. And trampoline hits add bonus air miles, rebounds add bonus points. Autopilot doesn’t offer this option.
Watch for the beta version of my computer game – Iracus Sport – in Trefology airspace.
Great! Thanks, E Sum
Thank you, Great George, for the thrust of great in Trefology airspace. “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ’em.” — William Shakespeare
Great plan, especially the arm flapping. But you might look for a convertible instead of somebody who owes you money. :)
Capital idea, Nancy, and thanks!
An pray. 😄
Yes, of course, that, too! Thanks, Janny!