I’m thinking about
the things we used
to do that rhymed.
***
Like, practice gymkata.
***
Get the stigmata.
***
Make some frittatas …
***
Eat quite a-lotta.
***
Yes, I’m thinking about
the things we used
to do that rhymed.
.
Category: Humor
The grand opening
A new laundromat
opened on my block. And
I did my laundry the
day of the Grand Opening.
***
Later, my girlfriend
asked what I thought
of the laundromat.
And I blurted out, “Grand!”
***
But then I felt dumb
for using the same word
that was on the banner.
***
So I quickly added,
***
“Awe-inspiring.”
.
2.
3.
—Love
*
Love is
like a
river.
A terrible terrible river.
By all accounts
.
Writing
things down
seems like
a good idea
—on paper.
.
PROMOTED AD
What was eft is newt.
Trefology
Small anguishes
When I was a kid
I knew I was almost
done with my soup
when I could see
the smiling face
of a clown at the
bottom of the bowl.
***
But it was the before.
***
Knowing he was down
there, unseen. That’s
what made me worry.
Because-who knows how
long that clown
could hold its breath.
.
2.
featured reader
Chewie.
The magic 8-ball
When my Magic 8-ball tells me to
“Ask again later”
***
I assume it’s because
the demon that lives
inside the magic 8-ball
is probably
busy taking a bath,
***
or ironing a shirt.
***
or baking a cake
***
But, look — I know
I’m being ridiculous.
***
Because, really–
that demon could
be busy doing
literally anything.
.
2
Confrontations
I have decided to
put-off ALL further
confrontations until
after I am no more.
***
Going forward,
if someone tries
to start something
with me, I’ll say,
***
“Friend, let’s have this conversation, later, in heaven.”
***
Then, later,
in heaven,
if I run into
them again,
I’ll just say,
***
“You know what?
***
This is really a conversation for back on earth.”
.
Problems of work
The employee
turn-around at
the revolving-
door factory
was dizzying.
.The coach
My high school
swimming coach
used to tell us
the same thing
before every match
***
“Even the most experienced swimmer can drown in three feet of water.”
***
Which is true.
***
But, of course,
***
our swimming
coach was only
two feet tall
***
So it mostly
applied to him.
.
Vacation-time
Say, friend,
***
have you ever taken
a vacation that
was so crazy,
***
that when it was done,
***
you had to take
a vacation from
the vacation?!
***
If you have,
***
tell me this,
***
Where do you work?
.
The whistler
I used to know
the happiest guy
in the world.
***
He was always whistling
a happy tune. He’d say,
“Whistling makes the gloomiest day seem bright”
***
And he whistled while he worked.
***
He whistled while he ate.
***
He whistled while he rested.
***
And he whistled while you
were trying to talk to him.
***
In fact—
I only knew him not
to whistle one time.
And that was when I
slapped the whistle
out of his dumb mouth.
.
A Merry Christmas, A Chairful Holiday, A Blithesome Trefmas, and a Happy New Y’ar to Some of You!
t r e f o l o g y 