Woke up,
Folgers in my cup.
But how did
it get there?
This man alone knows the answer.
This man alone actively probed
the questions of existence & put
his discoveries into easily
digestible slices of considerable
frolic.
+
Will you join him?
Or will you fail him,
& thus FAIL LIFE!
“Slim” Tammy Junebug,
a reader from the
Seventh Ring of Hello,
writes
Q.
“Why do I always find
drowned insects in
my swimming pool?”
A.
Arrogance. Conceit.
The audacious
insect-mind reasons,
“I can fly, so naturally I can swim.”
.
And I consider this mystery solved after nearly a half century of research into the Mind
OUR FLOUNDER LOVES TO HEAR FROM HIS FLANS
Got a question?
Does it contain an unnecessary ‘L’?
No?
Ok, then, direct all
electronic-thought
transfers,
tele-graphically, though
space and time to:
***
Ask George
Juneau 8-3502 or Oxford 7-4609
“Friends,
Romans,
Countrymen,”
I said,
reviewing my
enemies list.
I went for broke
and it broke,
so, then,
I went for glue.
Abridged from the Grade 1 Workbook © section IV part II
GRADE 1
SECTION IV PART II
IMPO-TECH
The technology for determining impotence is as such. Step I: The Diminished Male first glues a series of attached stamps onto his Penis before Bedtime.
Step II: In the morning, if the Anxious Male wakes to find the stamps are still attached, it can be determined decisively that he suffers from a case of impotence, of which there is NO known cure.
If, on the other hand, the Subtracted Male wakes to find his penis has been surreptitiously mailed to an unspecified location, the males troubles were all psychological.
Step III: Write up confession of impotence to Instructor.
Step IV: Wink at pretty girl
That’s it! Congratulations!
Once you have completed this Action the student should move onto
Part III
“To Where Exactly Has My Penis Been Mailed?”
… And I consider this mystery solved after a half-century of research into the Mind
GTR
Nov. 12 1969
age 4
Beverages seem
to hold little sway
over the Undead.
ii.
I can only assume,
that when you’re dead,
a parched throat is a
thing of the past.
***
Just a fancy.
A fleeting dream of once
having pursed your lips.
iii.
Therefore, could it be
that your first realization
after turning into
a you-know —
would be to reach for
your throat & say,
Hey, I ain’t even thirsty,
tho
When a famous mobster dies
it brings me comfort to know
he’s probably in heaven now
jamming with
Jimi Hoffa
Interesting enough,
babies will eventually acclimate
themselves to the bitter taste of lemons
If that is all you
feed them
My friend took me to a aaa meeting.
That’s a group for people who are
addicted to free-tow services.
***
“Hello, my name is George, and right now my car head-lights are on in the parking lot.”
.2.
t r e f o l o g y 