IF there is

one thing

I don’t like,

it’s

having to

limit my

grievances to

one thing

When I die I want

to have a post-mortem

photo taken of me

for posterity, just

as they did in

the Victorian Age

***

But—I want the photo

to be taken at one of

those old-timey photo

studios like, they have

at the wharf.

***

So if anyone asks when I died

***

My family can say

“Back in the days of the Old West.”

.

2.

Taken circa 1972 at Columbia State Historic Park in Columbia, CA.

Can you spot me?

I think

my cousin, Bob,

has ADHD&D,

because Bob is

very easily

distracted by

dungeons

and dragons.

I shouldn’t have

lied during the

job interview.

***

I know that now.

***

Like when

I told them

I was an

arm-wrestling

champion

***

and I lived under the sea

***

and I knew Excel

***

and I have twelve fingers,

… on each hand

***

But mostly,

I regret the Excel part

***

because that was

the one thing

they tested me on.

2.

.

“She Hasn’t Got a Mean Bone”

written and performed

by George J. Raymond

copyright © 2023

3.

She goes to church on Sunday

She goes to work on Monday

She does the very best she can

***

She loves her mother

She loves her father

Takes good care of her man

***

She hasn’t got a mean bone

***

If she ever got in trouble

it would surely pop her bubble

***

And it’s gonna break my heart

to watch her fall apart

***

Lies — she don’t tell ’em

Alibis — she don’t use ’em

She’s always true to herself

***

She sees the good in you

Ignores the bad in you

She gives everybody an even chance

***

She hasn’t got a mean bone.

4.

Happy 81st Birthday, Dad!

Don’t worry!

***

It’s human nature

to want to fly

like a bird.

***

And then—

***

once you are

flying like a bird,

your poor arms

flapping about

***

It’s human nature

to want to stop,

and maybe — rest

for a spell on yon

electrical pole.

Just like the

famous Welsh

singer Tom Jones—

***

my dad fancied himself

“the hardest-working man

in show business.”

***

Except he wasn’t

in show business

***

So when dad would

grill burgers

in the backyard.

***

he’d gather the

neighborhood kids,

and we’d all throw

panties at him.

In grammar school

all the kids

called me,

“Fancy Pants”,

but they

weren’t wrong.

.

2.

3.

A lot of people say,

“Go, Google it”

when they want to

look-up something,

but I am from an

older generation,

so, I still say,

“Go, Funk & Wagnall it”.

absent-

mindfulness

skips a

generation,

by accident.