When-ever,
my good friend,
Akmal the
egg-laying boy,
invites me over
for breakfast,
I always make sure
to tell him,
“NO.”
.
Keep circulating the URL
Transference
My girlfriend said
she loved me a
“bushel and a peck”.
But that does not
fill me with
confidence,
based on her
previous statements
regarding
dry measurements
.
2.
3.
Good news!
My friend quit
drugs cold turkey.
***
Bad news!
Now he’s addicted
to cold turkey.
***
Sometimes,
he calls me
late at night
and says,
“Hey man, you got any sandwiches?”
.
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Tales told out of turn
Legend has it,
a young Abraham Lincoln
once walked five miles
just to deliver a letter.
***
To keep it safe
he placed the letter
high beneath the crown
of his stovepipe hat.
***
When Abe finally
arrived, a tired Lincoln
removed his hat and
presented the letter.
***
The family was grateful,
but visibly dismayed to
find the letter covered with
sweat, oil, and coarse
black hair, that wreathed
the letter like a holiday
ribbon.
***
Not wanting to insult
Young Abraham, the
family nevertheless would
only accept the letter
using a pair of tongs.
***
The unflappable A. Lincoln
merely laughed.
***
And when the letter
was opened,
the family laughed, too,
***
For inside the envelope
was a shampoo sample.
.
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2.
(sign in west covina, CA)
Everyone must be someplace.
What brought you here?
Keep circulating the URL
The oxford trefology
Did William Shakespeare
write all of the
works attributed to him?
***
I say, No.
And here is my proof:
Have you ever
read the play,
Romeo & Juliet?
That shit
writes itself.
fo
Ask a cowboy
Ask a cowboy
what kind of hat
is on his head
and he’ll say,
***
“cowboy hat”
***
Ask a cowboy
what kind of boots
he’s wearing
and he’ll say,
***
“cowboy boots”
***
but ask a cowboy
what he’s wearing
under those cowboy
boots and he’ll
likely get confused.
***
Cowboy socks, man, cowboy socks.
2.
What price abs?
The day of my
birth, my father
carried me to
the top of
Raymond Mountain,
raised me
toward the sky,
and said, “One!”
***
Then he lowered
me back down. But
then he quickly
lifted me
back up again.
***
“Two!” said my father.
Mama can’t win
Step on a crack —
break your
mama’s back.
***
Avoid every
crack you see —
mama get’s ocd
.
Keep circulating the URL
Piggies
I bet the first
person to eat
their own toes
was probably
pretty hungry!
.
2.
3.
Chant daily:
Harvey Kurtzman,
Harvey Kurtzman,
Harvey, Harvey,
Kurtzman, Kurtzman
.
Keep circulating the URL
Unexplained mysteries
A man boards a
727 to Denver.
***
But for reasons he
cannot explain, he
immediately exits
the plane.
***
A few minutes later,
leaving the terminal,
the man hails a taxi,
telling the driver
to take him to
Denver, Colorado.
***
The man’s taxi
then takes off into
the air, crashing
into the
727 to Denver.
***
Question:
How did this man know the plane was going to crash?
.
* special thanks to Koala LaFong, for use of the photo
Reminder:
Though the TV
series the
Big Bang Theory
was cancelled,
you can still
see the cosmic
microwave
remnants of it
when you turn
your tv
to static.
Who will win?
I think
Silly String
should fight
Silly Putty
for
silly supremacy.
.
Keep circulating the URL.
t r e f o l o g y 