A message to to-morrow

*

If ever in the

distant future,

I am to be brought

back from the dead

***

— either, here on earth,

or, on some

unfathomable

far-away star

***

It better be for a good reason. 

q.

What type of

angel says,

“Ouch! Ouch!

Ouch! Ouch!” ?

a.

An angel dancing on the point of a pin!!!

.

2.

Special thanks to Ciara Cray of ‘balance and bolus’ for “Jokes for Kids” artwork.

Check out her website 

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“Glub Glub” said

the drowning man.

***

But no-one in the

pool noticed.

***

Because that

was Glub-Glub.

***

And that is

what he was

always saying.

.

.

Keep circulating the URL.

For the Christmas of

my sixteenth year,

I wanted one thing

over all else.

***

And I went straight

to the place of my

parents work, to

tell them.

***

I bounded in and

immediately declared

that I wanted a car

for Christmas.

— Preferably, new.

***

My dad and mom both

stopped working, and

looked over at me.

*

My mom put down her coal shovel.

***

Said my mom,

“Why do you think you deserve a new car?”

***

“Well, I said, thoughtfully,

“All of my friends have new cars.”

***

“Well —” my mother said,

prepared for such answer.

“If all of your friends

were to jump off a bridge

— would you?”

***

“No,” I replied.

***

“All right,” she said.

“But would you for a new car?”

***

PART II

***

That Christmas morning

I awoke to find a long

red ribbon tied to my big toe.

What’s this? I asked myself.

Could it be?

***

Excitedly, I got out of bed

& began to follow the ribbon as it

led me out of my room.

***

The ribbon led me:

***

down the hallway,

into the living room,

past the Christmas tree,

into the foyer

out the front door,

over the moat,

across the yard, and

into our driveway (!)

***

Where it then

double-backed

up and around a tree,

before …

***

going back across the yard,

over the moat,

through the front door,

into the foyer

past the Christmas tree,

through the living room,

down the hallway, and

back into my room.

***

Where,

to my great disappointment,

I discovered that it was

tied to my other toe.

Finis.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The bigger

they are,

the harder

I run.

.

Happy Thanksgiving!

“Big Cats in Humboldt”

by Mary Cellini

©2020 all rights reserved

I know that old

refrigerator at

my mom’s house

is never going

to break down.

Thanks to the

magical healing

power of magnets.

.

2.

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I don’t think it

has ever been fully

explained why the

Frankenstein monster

wore lifts.

.

I think I could

out-run the Mummy.

And handedly, too.

***

I might even slow

down a bit to let the

Mummy catch-up.

***

That way, at the end of the day,

we both have a story to tell.

.

Happy Halloween!

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Lo! The ‘great’ war

between the two

circus companies was

about to commence.

***

The Ringmaster called

for the clowns, and

the acrobats. He called

for the geeks, and the

gaffs and freaks and

the blockheads.

He called for the

flying elephants, giraffes

and the ferocious lions.

***

“Suit up and arm ye-selves,”

he cried. “We’ll teach those

second-rate interlopers!”

***

Across the river,

the other circus

was fast asleep.

***

Cried the Ringmaster,

“Bison Bob’s Wild West

Vaudeville & Indian War Battle

Reenactment Show, will rue

the day they ever heard

the name, Col. Beauregard ‘s

Famous Flying Circus & Side

Show-Supreme of 1873!“

***

The strongman wheeled out

the mighty circus cannon,

and aimed it at the rival circus.

***

A hush fell over

the circus folk.

Then the Ringmaster

said, “Fire!”

***

Boom went the cannon!

***

“Aaaaaghhhhhhhhhhh!” cried the human cannonball.

.

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